Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Ask Twired Jen, intallment #2!

I am totally loving answering these questions! If you have yet to ask a twi-related question, do it in the comments. I will answer all :)

First up, one of my bloggy besties, 17foreverlisa:

Q. Question: If you actually get close enough to have Rob sign something when you go to the Eclipse premiere, what do you hand him to sign?

A. I’d find a copy of either one of these pictures & have him sign it...then much to NST boyfriends dismay, I'd frame it. Though to be honest, I'd much much rather have a pic of me and The Precious, vs. an autograph.

My mind goes to dirrrrty places every time I see this pic.

Simply divine.

I considered answering that I'd whip out one of my boobs for him to sign. I joked with Lisa about this & she said that might not be a good idea considering the amount of bubble baths I take... ;)

Next up, the twin I've never met, who looks nothing like me,
Musing Bella!

Q. If you HAD TO completely recast the movies, who would you cast as the main characters? Stay tuned to my blog for my answer to this. (P.S. You can use the current actors, but not in their current roles.)

A. I wouldn’t...but if you were threatening to banish Robert Pattinson from this earth unless I answered...well then...I must proceed... (kidding )

Though I think KStew was perfect, Alexis Bledel could definitely pull off Bella as well...just throw some brown contacts in and voila! She has the same heart shaped face/high forhead that was described in the books...

Blake Lively as Rosalie! She could DEFINITELY pull this off. She's a beautiful girl. No offense Nikki, but you look gawd-awful as a blonde. And, Rosalie is supposed to be tall & statuesque...
Nikki...not so much.

Rachel Leigh Cook as Alice. Again, I thought Ashley did a great job, but I pictured someone a tad less stunning...and Ashley Greene is stunning.

*Ok sorry MB, I cannot for the life of me try & replace those boys...can’t do it. Forgive me?

We forgive you.

Here comes Sparkle for Twilight!

Q. If you could live out one scene in the books which would it be? (And no you don't have to be Bella; like if you wanted to be Rosalie in the scene where she comes back as a vampire and murders her ex-fiance, then sure lol) <~~~~LMAO!

A. But I wanna be Bella...bad! I imagine most people would say either the “leg-hitch” in Edwards bed, or the “Isle Esme sex”...but I have to go with Edward and Bella’s first kiss by the truck after his reveal in the meadow. There is nothing quite like a first kiss...

Though I loved the first-kiss scene in Twilight, I would have liked to see the first-kiss scene after Edwards reveal in the meadow, next to Bella's truck.

Tongue Twied asks me a question too. And, it's a double!

Q. If you found out you could only have 1 of these books to read for the rest of your life which would you choose:

Twilight New Moon Eclipse Breaking Dawn COMPLETED Midnight Sun

A. Thought Eclipse is my favorite book, and I LOVED what I read of MS...I have to say Twilight. I love getting to know Bella & Edward over and over again each time I read it; as well as reliving their “early-times.”

And bonus question: Q. What is your ONE favorite Edward line from all of the books?

I wish he would have said the following in the movie...(I'm pretty sure it was said in one of the last chapters of New Moon, too lazy to get the book)

A. “Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light & reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire, there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black.” -Edward Cullen

I'm a total sap for romantic poetry.

Last but no least, the lovely Edwardsisobel!

Q. Which character from the books do you wish had a larger role/more detailed background in the books/movies?

A. In the books, Alice... I just adore her character. She’s whimsical & seems to be great best friend material. We don't get to learn much about her, mainly because she can't remember her human life. Every time I read Eclipse, I find myself wanting to hang out with Alice at the slumber party.

I bet she used this to paint Bella's toe nails!

In the movies, Jasper. I think we should have seen more of him in both Twi & New Moon. They’re supposed to delve deeper into his background in Eclipse...but until I see the movie, it remains to be seen if they gave him enough face time. (Hear that David Slade ?) Then again, with the hair I have seen, I’m not sure if I want him to have more face time. You have all seen the pictures, so I'll spare you for now.

Once again, that was a ton of fun! Thank you ladies! *MUAH*


Musing Bella

Sparkle for Twilight

Tongue Twied

& last but not least,

Edwardsisobel (a lovely faithful follower!)

Stay tuned for installment #3!


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

New Eclipse Stills :)

Spoiler Alert!

LMAO, I think I just like typing that. I wonder if any of you actually run for the hills as a result of seeing that bold yellow lettering. Probably not, if you were smart enough to read the title first, you'd know not to peek. Anyhoo, what do we have here? New stills! New stills! It feels like CHRISTMAS!

Jacob: "Look Edward, the reason I've been so ornery lately is because I'm in love with you..."

Edward: "Do you have any idea how much this complicates things?"

Bella "Umm...blink blink...twitch twitch......"

"How long have you been gay Jake?"

Carlisle: "Everyone stand back! Jasper's hair is distracting the mutts & Jacob has something he'd like to tell us."

On another note...

Want a chance to ask yours truly a question?

DO IT! Just make it Twi-related. I'm answering ALL of them.

See the "Ask Twired Jen, installment #1."

Put your questions in the comments of that post.

Now, GO, GO, GO!!!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Ask Twired Jen, installment #1

Woah, you gals really stepped up to the Vampire baseball plate! I have already received quite a few questions so far, and seeing as I love all of them, I will post them (& my answers) throughout the next week or so. If you haven't participated yet, ask me a Twi-related question!


First up to bat, Mama Cougar

Q.What, my dear, is your wildest RPattz fantasy?

A. Believe it or not, I don’t really fantasize about Robert Pattinson very much.. Maybe it’s because I perceive him as utterly intangible.

"You don't fantasize about me?"

I fantasize more about meeting him, or getting to take a picture with him. When I first started this blog, I wrote a post called “
5 Wishes for 2010.”

Here is an excerpt:

“I wish for a night with Robert Pattinson. That isn't really too much to ask. I don't mean forever, just for a know...he has Stephanie Ritz pick me up and take me to meet him at the Chateau Marmont for drinks, we then head out to some laid back pub in LA...paparazzi in tow of course. "Who the hell is that blonde midget with RPattz?" We have several more drinks of course. We sit close, listen to a live band play, bond over a plethora of "things", gaze seductively into each each others eyes...Then eventually we make our way back to the hotel, paparazzi in tow, and go up to his room. We sit out on the balcony while he smokes and recites lines from Twilight...then we soak in a bubble dot dot...”

So I guess I have fantasized about RPattz, just not as much as some lady's (cough....whores) I'm sure...

Next up, Poptart:

Q.What’s your most embarrassing Twilight related story? I'm thinking a TMI story and beyond.

A. Oh man (errr lady)...I don’t know that I have anything that is TMI yet. YET being the operative word of course. I would definitely have to say 2 things have felt pretty embarrassing. One was definitely my reaction to Robert Pattinson at the New Moon premiere in LA. When he stepped out of the limo he was surrounded by so many body guards I could barely see him. Once he turned to come to our side...I flipped out. He was about 15 ft away and I just screamed like a 13 year old at a New Kids on the Block concert. I never knew I could scream like that. Basically, I lost all sense of control. I’m surprised I didn’t just poop my pants right then and there. My whole body basically started shaking...and when the tears welled up in my eyes, E.S. knew I’d officially lost it. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it...the barricade started to bow, and his “peeps” whisked him back to the red carpet before he could get close to me.

I wish I could say I took this.
If you look to the right of the pic...add about 20ft, that's where
Elusive S & I were smashed up against the barricades.

Wouldn't you look dazed & confused too?!
P.S Not so sure bout' the Persian hookers.
They didn't know who the hell anyone was. I wanted to kick em'.

Second would have to be when ES & I met Jackson Rathbone for the 1st time after his 100 Monkeys show at the Viper Room. After much prompting, I grew some balls and asked his “Bananager” if we could take a pic with him...I didn’t want to interrupt as he was talking to someone....Fortunately, Jackson couldn't have been more charming. Unfortunately, I practically lost common sense & just kept saying thank you. I guess that’s better than acting like a psycho stalker...right? (elusive s)

You know I had to sneak this in here again at some point...

Last but not least, JeDeCe:

3 Questions from this gal...sweet!

Q. We're going to play a rousing game of Fuck, Marry, Kill. Ready? How would you rate these characters in FMK order: Jasper, Edward, Carlisle.

A. Can we use Mrs. P’s term “leave alone” vs “kill?” Ok. Thanks. So this one is easy...As far as the characters go, I’d FUCK Carlisle, (Dr. Cullen, my va-jay-jay hurts...will u kiss it and make it better?) Marry Edward (no brainer) & leave Jasper alone. Again, I’m basing this on their characters, not RL.

Q. Now lets go with some actors themselves: Taylor, Rob, Kellan.

A. Easy, I’d Fuck Kellan, Marry Rob (cause he could fuck me everyday) & leave Taylor ALONE.

Q. Now that I'm 2 and a half glasses of wine in...screw it. I want you to rate the fuckability of the entire cast of NM from most delish to ewww-not even with Jessica's vajayjay.

A. Funny you should ask...Not too long ago, Elusive S & I sat in a jacuzzi in LA, prior to a 100 Monkeys concert, and discussed this in minute detail. OK, fuckability. 1 will be MOST Fuckable...then slowly descend by fuckability. (Can I keep saying fuckability?)

1. Robert Pattinson (hands down, most delish)
2.Jackson Rathbone (i can only imagine what that MOS is capable of)
3.Peter Facinelli (he’s got some amazing arms, and an adorable face)
4. Cam Gigante (soooo hot in icky as James)
5. Billy Burke (mmm...want me some DILF)

6. Alex Meraz (the boy I lost my virginity to was Mexican, so I have a gag-reflex when it comes to those Mexies...but he is soooooo hawt )

7. Kellan Lutz (as long as he doesn’t have the orange hair)

8. Taylor Lautner (he can look super hot, and super stupid...but he does have a rockin’ bod)

9. Kiowa Gordon (better lookin’ in me)

10. Bronson Pelletier (cute, minus the muffin top)

11.Chaske Spencer
(eh...doable after a few drinks...or more...)

OK..I’m gagging while pondering the rest...and just so you know, I wouldn’t F*ck any of these peeps with Jessica’s va-jay-jay.

"Oh my gawd, did u really just bring my va-jay-jay into this?"

Michael Welch = Umpa Loompa

The dude that plays Quil Arterra...”I’m Quill Arterra...” NASTY.
Justin Chon= Cute in a lil’ gay dude that you wanna put in your pocket. (sorry dude)

Thank you all that sent in your questions, I still have more to post! Stay tuned!

P.S. If you'd like to ask me a Twi-related question,see instructions up top.

P.S.S Get creative! Or dirrty! Both are a plus!

***Check out Mama Cougar & Poptart...Follow @jedecec on twitter!

Oh...and in case you need another reason to fall in love with Mr. Pattinson all over again, here he is in Budapest filming Bel Ami...speaking Hungarian to the fans. *Swoon*


Sunday, March 28, 2010

Budapest is kinda beautiful, w/ Rob in it...& ASK ME!

Shamefully, I had to look up where Budapest was located. Come to find out, it's the capital city of Hungary. It is in fact the second oldest city in the world, and is regarded as one of the most beautiful in Europe. I venture to guess that it became a whole lot more beautiful Robert Pattinson was there filming parts of Bel Ami.

Here he is running...minus those black socks from the Eclipse footage...thank gawd! It's a quick vid, but any vid of Rob is worth a

I'm now dying to see this movie. Rob looks simply AMAZING in that period

Rob & his body guard...ya know, the guy that's ALWAYS with him.

Fingers thru the hair...swoooon.

Rob w/ some lucky biotches..
And what do we have here Rob? Could this be a package pic??? Doubt it, probably just his smokes...


On another note...I have a simple (i think) request. I'd like YOU to ask ME (Twired Jen) a QUESTION! It has to be Twilight related...but I know you dirrrty whores can make practically anything Twilight related. So get creative! I might have a glass of wine first, but I'll answer ALL of them. Promise. I'll post the Q&A w/ me next week!


*Pics/vid from Robsessed

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Where's Waldo...I mean theTwilight kids?

Here's Jackson Rathbone, aka Mr. MOS. He made an appearance at the Kids Choice Awards tonight. I think it's cool he took the time to do that, considering he's currently on a 100 City Tour with his awesome band 100 Monkeys. F*ck me! How did Elusive S & I miss this?!? Also in attendance were Taylor Lautner, and Nikki Reed.

Hellooooo Sexy crooked damn!

So F*ck-Hawt!

Is that a fairy-hand Tay?
Lookin' good...mutt.

Nikki Reed. Love the dress on her!

If Rosalie had been a brunette in the book,
Nikki would have been PERFECT. She's a beautiful girl.

Meanwhile, the ever-so-adorable Ashley Greene has been busy filming "Apparition" in Palmdale, CA.

Maybe if I started eating an apple a day, I'd look like Ash...wouldn't hurt right?

Do ugly days even exist for this girl? She is stunning.

Cutie Kellan Lutz has been keeping busy as well. He recently completed a Triathalon in Puerto Rico for charity, & of course, continues to maintain that yummy physique.

Here's KLutz at producer Randall Emmetts <~~ tee-hee, Birthday bash at STK. you see what I see?
P.S. Nice nips.

(I apologize in advanced if this offends anyone...wait, no I don't...)

Rob...where art thou? Rob??? Oh, there you are...
For HE has risen!
(sparkly-peen? I wish.)

We are close to Easter right? ...wait, is that the right holiday for my Jesus reference? F*ck me, I don't know...I'll leave the religious talk to someone who actually knows.

Anyhoo, apparently Rob was recently (today?) in Budapest filming for Bel Ami.

RPattz with some lucky BIOTCHES (errr... fans) in Budapest.
P.S. um...if he's that tall, he MUST be packin'! :)

Leaving "The Lyric" in London...
*Jaw porn*...num num num...

(P.S. I hate that he looks "annoyed"...but the jaw porn was too good not to post!)

Hope you enjoyed this little re-cap...I know we're missing some peeps, but I'm feeling LAZY. Maybe we'll catch up with them later, when I'm not so zonked.


Friday, March 26, 2010

JRath interviewed by

Elusive S had the pleasure of watching the movie Dread a few nights ago... She bought it on itunes & watched it on her lap top...because she can't seem to find it anywhere else. What gives? In case you don't know, Dread is a 2009 horror movie with our own Mr. M.O.S himself, Jackson Rathbone. If you missed Sista's post (warning), check it out here. Jackson truly brings out her "dirrrty-girl side." Granted I choose not to think about that too much, seeing as she is my little Sis.

Elusive S has been a naughty girl...she needs a spankin'...

Anyhoo, recently caught up with MR. M.O.S: (for those of you new to our blog, that's Mouth of Sex...coined by Elusive S...duh)

"FEARnet: In The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, you get to work with Catalina Sandino Moreno…

Ah man, Catalina. That was amazing, working with her. I was a huge fan of Maria, Full of Grace and she was lovely to work with.

We’ll finally get to learn a little bit more about your character, Jasper Hale. What we can expect to see from Jasper’s flashbacks and your scenes with Catalina?

Jasper’s back story is that he was turned into a vampire during the Civil War era, so I got to don the Civil War regalia and ride a horse again — I haven’t been on a horse in like two years, so that was really fun. Basically, that’s how I meet Maria, who’s played by Catalina. Maria turns Jasper in order to make him the leader, or trainer, of the army that she needs in the South. Vampire armies are very prevalent in the South in those days. You’ll get to see a lot of deadly training vampire scenes, and a little bit of the love-lust relationship between Jasper and Maria and how it doesn’t really pan out.

Sounds like the type of turning scene your fans are going to love seeing. From the books and films, we know that vampires are turned with bites in various places; we’ve seen Carlisle, for example, bite Esme rather romantically on the neck to change her. So… can you tell us where exactly Maria bites Jasper?

Where does she bite him? Well, I don’t want to give everything away. I’ve got to keep some little secrets. [Laughs] I think people are going to be pretty happy about it.

Fair enough! Were there any particularly funny moments you had while filming Eclipse?

You know, whenever you get into these fight scenes it gets a little funny because you’re going after each other, and we’ve all been such good friends for three years now, so throwing a punch at your friend is kind of weird. Jasper has to train the Cullen family, so it was weird… I didn’t want to throw punches at Nikki Reed or Ashley [Greene]! It just didn’t feel right to me to hit a girl. I was raised very Southern, and that’s very wrong where I come from."

....can't you just hear that schmexy Southern-twang dripping off those luscious lips of his???

*Interview posted on


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Stick a Sparkly Peen in me-I am done.

Let me start by saying Dread is a very, very verrry graphic, gory and violent movie bordering on pornographic (too bad Jackson isn't included in those particular scenes) and almost made me vomit in my mouth towards the end (at least Jackson didn't bring it on). If you have a weak stomach, seriously, stop watching it at about 1:09. That being said... I thought the story was a good one, albeit creepy and sick. Jackson is undeniably jacksonrific and brought my jacksonitis (that had been preparing to sneak towards dormancy for lack of visual stimulation as of late) to the surface 10-fold. HOLY Hell... stick a sparkly peen in me, for I am done.

Oh and he does kiss two different girls in it + an almost-kiss... one girl even gets to stradle him-
<----------------LUCKY BITCHES.

Oh Mr MOS your eyes seem to be constantly smiling... watch out EC-MOS has the whole crooked smile thing going like a raging twitarded panty fire (uh oh, I'm getting Forrrrrrrrks ideas... La Push Panty Fire... I can visualize it now). In fact JACKson had originally auditioned for the role of Edward... Pfft, as if you didn't already know.

Don't get me wrong, I am 100% Team Rob for Edward but it goes to show Jackson was 'uglied' up for Jasper. If they had let any of the MOS, jacksonliciousness show through in Jasper, Edward would have had competition-and that just wouldn't do.

Elusive S out... and off to enjoy Spring Break!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

New Official Eclipse Poster

June 30th, 2010...SQUEEEE!

Woot Woot! Check that out, it's the NEW official Eclipse poster. I think it looks pretty snazzy...ish. Ok, I LOVE how "Bella" looks! She appears more mature, and a bit sultry. (probably from all that pent-up sexual frustration!) But, I am not lovin' Edward & Jacob (who cares about the mutt anyway?)...they look slightly "Zombie-ish." Please tell me David Slade didn't F this up. Please?! Since I'm so worried, I figured I'd write him a little note. Here it goes...

Dear David Slade,

Just because you created some kick-ass looking Zombie/Vampire thingies for 30 Days of Night...doesn't mean we need to envision our precious Edward that way. I'm getting nervous David...I really am. Please tell me you didn't F this up...please!?
Eclipse is my favorite fact, I am re-reading it now, for the 4th or 5th... or maybe even 6th time! I will be absolutely heartbroken if I am all of a sudden scurrred of Edward onscreen. Edward is supposed to look like the mythical Greek God Adonis...have you seen Twilight and/or New Moon? Have you? Take a gander at these:

Panty wetting Twi Edward.

Orgasm worthy NM Edward.

David, please tell me this isn't Eclipse Edward...

Oh right, that's the dude from 30 Days of Night...

To be perfectly honest, that movie was "alright," at best...which in turn increases my nervousness that Eclipse was placed in your supposedly capable hands. I sincerely apologize if I'm coming across as rather harsh, it's just that I feel so protective over this particular book...

I fear it's a little late to be lecturing you, so all I can do now is pray to the Twi-gods.

Twired Jen...a true Twitard.

What do you ladies (men?) think? Are you at all nervous from what you've seen so far? Or are you just the type that's going to roll with it and keep an open mind? Tell me in the comments!

ADDED LATER IN THE EVENING: The Evolution of Twilight. Pretty neat...not so neat when you look at the 3rd pics. Hmmm, well except Bella, I still think she looks good.

Notice they didn't put their names on the second two posters...

***Tomorrow I'm off to Palm Springs. Don't have internet on my phone (GASP!) Not taking lap top (GASP!) I'm sure Elusive S will pop in at some point. I'm thinking of giving 17foreverlisa my cell # in case anything cataclysmic happens in the Twi world..hmm..
See you Friday :) XOXO J

*Source:, IMDB

Monday, March 22, 2010

Only For Those w/JACKSONITIS (or those who WANT it :) heh!)

You may have read this in the comments from the post under this one (or you may not have): "... holyfucking hell [jackson] looks fuckingholyhellalicious in Dread and my Jacksonitis has swung around 20 fold... holyfuckinghell..."

I will post tomorrow about how badly my loins are wriggling around about finding Dread available on itunes... Who cares what the reviews say about the movie... in all honesty from every bit I've flipped through, Jackson looks undeniably delectable and fuckingjackson-y. Download it. Jackson... so... beautiful. CONK! (that's me passing out... not to be confused w/Bella saying how beautiful Renesmee is before she galumps away from human life).

(obvi credits go to the movie and etc etc...
but I did take these with my trusty BB curve)


Elusive, but fabulous S!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

What shall I take to FOORRRKKKKKSSSS?

So my room at the Forks Motel is reserved, & I am pretty damn sure I'm going...I just need to buy my plane ticket. Seeing as I am not in the best financial situation at the moment (thanks to outsourcing at work...fml)...I must wait and play a little game of "cheapest f*cking flight I can find." Elusive S & I were talking about this last night...she is pretty sure she can come, but we'd have to eliminate the trip to Vegas (cause she's saving for another trip to AU next year) we'd hoped to squeeze in this summer...Hmmm...Vegas? Forks? Vegas? Forks? To me, it's an absolute no-brainer...FOOOORRRRKKKKSSS! How could I pass up the chance to meet all of you amazing ladies (cough)... whores. Plus, I found Vegas to be quite depressing...strippers, addicted gamblers, pwt etc...not my thing. Besides, we've spent so much time together in this Twitarded world, it would be a shame not to meet everyone, and I REALLY want to check out the Dazzled by Twilight shop!!! I'm sure it will put me in some sort of twi-coma, but it's worth the risk.

This got me thinking about what I'd need to bring to good ol' FOORRRKKS...yup, it's 6 mos away, but I'm a planner...and an "over-packer." Here's my list thus far:

1. Make-up.

I don't wear tons of make up, but shit, what if the local news gets wind of our unofficial Twitard convention?!? Or what if The Precious hears about it and decides to make a surprise appearance?!
(in our dreams)

2. Pepto Bismol.

Yes girls, I have a tendency to have a poopy stomach. It happens every time I travel...I think it's anxiety...even if I'm just plain excited, I get a bit poopy. Then after my Pepto binge, I'm not poopy....4-5 days. Ahhh, the repercussions.

3. Booooooooze!

This is practically a no-brainer. I mean, what if FORRRRRKKKKS one & only liquor store runs out our first night in town? A girls gotta be prepared.

4. A booze-belt!

Genius, right?
(is she wearing Mom-Jeans?)

5. Adult diapers.

So I may not be a mentally unstable clown, but I figure some "adult diapers" are in order. Who the hell wants to keep running to the ladies (whores) room?

6. Sweats.

They may "look" like sweat pants JJ, but they're actuallly Old Navy Yoga Pants. Granted I don't do yoga, but they're comfy & at least LKW wont feel so out of place in her sweats. ;)

7. A dress.

Fine JJ, I'll bring a dress...but I might wear my "yoga-pants" underneath.

8. Bellas scent.

...and smelling like Bella is all I can think of.
(If I remember correctly, STY said this smells like ass-crack...damn)

9. Jolly Rancher chews!!!

...and a big-ass box of these. They're my latest addiction. Odd, for a girl that isn't really into candy...

10. Hangover cure.
Not sure if this crap works, but it's worth a try...
Wouldn't want to ruin FOOORRKKS with a nasty hangover.

11. A bathtub.

If you have followed me on twitter at all, you know I LOVE taking baths. Since hotel & motel bathtubs are a cesspool of germs...I'd like to bring my own thank you very much.

P.S. if my tub looked anything like that, I'd never get out.

I'm sure I'm missing a FORRRKKKKS-load of other things, but for now I think this is a good start...don't you?

I almost forgot...last but certainly not least...I' d like to bring him along:

12. The Precious.


Sorry ladies, even if I could...I wouldn't. He'd be all mine. All mine.