Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Tokyo Tease

I have been so out of the loop, but sneaking peeks at fan sites here & there between bf-ing Charlie & wiping his curry coated baby butt ;)

This evening, I ran across this absolutely adorable picture of Ms. Stew @ the BD Part 2 Tokyo fan event.

Gotta love the black permanent marker on her right hand.

SUPER excited for more promotion pictures!


Monday, October 22, 2012


Charles Robert...aka "Charlie" <3

Born on October 6th, 2012 @ 12:15PM
8lbs, 12 oz & 22 in long!?! 

WARNING - Typos and grammatical errors a'plenty! I'm on 3 hours of sleep people..... 

Not sure if I'll make it through this post without him waking up to eat, but I'm giving it my best shot. I haven't had a computer since right before I delivered, as I had to hand back my beautiful little Mac to my boss while I'm out...and DG's computer is a piece of sh*t. I guess I could blog from my iphone, but the thought makes me cross eyed. Anyhoo, the last 2 weeks and 2 days have been a beautiful, nerve-wracking, exciting, blissful & sometimes scary ride.  I can now say that I fully understand absolute unconditional love.

Way back on Friday October 5th, I'd spent the day with my Mom & Gma (Grandma.) They'd said we should go to PF Changs and eat something spicy in hopes of coaxing out this lil' one.  So we did, and then we walked around the mall a bit.  That evening I put together his swing & then lounged around on the couch. At about 8:30PM I was talking to my next door neighbor through the window & felt a braxton hicks contraction, but with PAIN this time. It stopped me dead in my tracks.  Then about 15 minutes later I felt another one.  I'd been spotting a bit too, and wondered if it was really time.  I was pretty terrified since my hospital won't admit you unless you contracting 3-5 minutes apart, lasting 60 seconds or more for 1 hour. I'd heard of women having to labor at home for a full day before they could go in.......WELL, by 10:45PM I was contracting every 3-5 minutes and they were SUPER intense. Some of them felt like they were coming on top of each other. They hurt so bad I ended up throwing up after.  I woke up poor DG who'd only been asleep for an hour and told him we needed to call L&D. We did & based on the tone of my voice, they said we could head in to be checked.  We only live 8 minutes from the hospital, but boy was that a ride.  I had 3 contractions from where we parked the car to the elevator. That was a LONG walk. Long story short, they put me in triage, I barfed some more, my water broke mid-barf & they deemed I was 2.5 centimeters dilated & 100% effaced. Time to admit me :) When we got to the room I asked for the epidural right away....then progressed to 3.5 cm, then 8.5 four hours later?! It was going fast......then around 3am they realized baby was face up...which can lead to a difficult delivery. They ended up having my lie in all of these side positions in hopes of getting him or her to move. By early morning my contractions had stalled & they gave me pitocin to get them going again. Finally at around 10:45am they let me start pushing. I had DG on my right leg and my Mom on my left with Sarah sitting close by. They were so wonderful to me...finally at 12:15PM I had a beautiful baby BOY.  I sobbed tears of joy & utter relief.....The relief part I have decided to explain.....

Following our 20 week anatomy scan, we were told we had what appeared to be a very healthy baby that was right on target for his or her due date, BUT......they had to let us know that the baby had a "white spot" on it's heart. My OB quickly said that it WAS NOT a heart defect, but just a little calcium deposit. The reason she HAD to mention it was because it's considered a soft marker for downs syndrome & trisonomy 18. She quickly assured me that she sees it quite often & all of the babies she
seen with it have been healthy.  She then explained that most babies with downs have this white spot, but most babies with the white spot don't have downs. do you not freak out?! She also pointed out that there were no other markers. The nasal bone, femur bone, hands & feet all appeared normal. We asked what options we had in terms of finding out more, and she said that an amnio was an option, but that the chances of miscarriage were much higher than the chances of having a baby with a genetic disorder. We'd denied the 12 week genetic testing, thus we didn't have much odds to go off of.  My world basically fell apart after than appt. I wondered if it was God punishing me for wanting a baby all of my life and for getting pregnant on the first try.  It's a horrible way to think but I couldn't help it. Fortunately I talked with a girlfriend who informed me that both of her boys had shown the white spot, aka "echogenic focus," and they do not have any genetic disorders. I also did tons of internet research and the consensus was that most babies with this calcium deposit are born perfectly healthy...and that technology is just so advanced now that it picks up EVERYTHING. Apparently the white spot disappears towards the end of pregnancy in most cases..but we were never given another full anatomy scan.

Needless to say,  I was worried sick the remaining 4-5 months of my pregnancy. I didn't enjoy my labor, even with the epidural because I was so absolutely terrified.  It wasn't until he came out & I saw him with my own eyes that I cautiously realized he was OK. I have never sobbed so hard in my life. It was extremely cathartic. Draining. I can't put it into words. I even asked the nurse if he was ok and she asked why. I explained myself and she brushed it off as being super common. Then she quickly pointed out that he didn't have any signs of downs. In fact, the nurses during our stay often commented on how darn cute he even said he looked like the Gerber baby.

I would have loved my baby no matter what, but I can't tell you how much of a blessing it was to have a healthy one. On a side note: DG announced the sex and it was totally anticlimactic. I remember hearing him say "it's a boy." I didn't even react.....of course he was a boy.....everyone said I was having a boy. All I could focus on was that he was PERFECT.

Figured I'd share a few more pictures to capture the relief.

 My SUPER ugly cry. Never cried so hard in my entire life.

Inspecting him, making sure he was ok.

And a few extras:

with Daddy, aka DG

1st outing to the beach

Trying on my boy-ish onesies :)

Thanks for all the well wishes!

PS Yes, he does indeed have not one, but 2 Twilight names. Truthfully, Robert was my Grandfathers name and I always knew I'd give my future child that name or use it as a middle name. It also happens to be DG's brothers name. As for was the only one we both agreed on. I thought it was strong, cute & not as common these days. Duane wanted it to officially be Charles...I reluctantly agreed ;)