Monday, August 2, 2010

I'll Be Sportin' Adult Diapers On My Way To Forks.

Yes that's right, don't be surprised if I show up to the Forks Motel sportin' adult diapers. No, it's not because I'm incontinent or have a heavy flow, it's because I'm now scared as shit to stop off to relieve myself on my way to Forks. As some of you may know, I have decided to drive by myself from SeaTac to Forrrrrrrrrrks. For some f*cked up reason I thought it would be liberating. Those views changed a bit today when I was looking at the Washington Stage Dept of transportation cams (yes, I'm weird like that.)


Sure it's pretty, but doesn't it just scream HORROR MOVIE? Ok maybe it's just me, but when I think of the PNW (Pacific Northwest) I think of horror movies such as "The Ring 1 & 2," "The Wickerman," and "Rose Red"...just to name a few. And speaking of...while I was looking at pictures online I was telling my co-worker about this freaky movie called "The Vanishing." The movie is about a couple who pulls over at a rest stop to use the restroom and the wife disappears. Turns out she was abducted by this crazy dude played by Jeff Bridges. It wasn't until later in the day that I realized it's supposed to take place in Washing State! Oh gawd, is that an omen?

Not that I would EVER stop at one...

I'd sure as shit never stop at a rest stop...with someone or alone. It just screams scary movie.
Did you also know that Ted Bundy went to the University of Pudget Sound as well as WSU?! And what about the Green River Killer...thankfully I believe he's in prison & on death row.

I truly enjoy driving alone, and thought it would be somewhat therapeutic/spiritual in a way. However now I'm a little freaked out. What if it's raining and I can't see the road and hit a deer? What if the Green River Killer escapes and comes after me? What if I'm pulled over and it's NOT Chief Swan, but a freaky toothless Sheriff (think Texas Chainsaw Massacre.) FML. I'm so wearing adult diapers so I don't have to stop at any questionable places to pee or poop. I always get poopy when I travel due to excitement or even anxiety, so the prospect of having to poop will be pretty high. It could also go the other way though...I might be so nervous the night before that I poop everything out. It could has happened.

The PNW always used to give me the creeps thanks to all of the horror movies I have watched in my lifetime, however Twilight helped to obliterate any negative thoughts I had. Sadly today I got a little off track. Anyhoo, gotta end on a positive note right? I just found out that Washington State does NOT make the list of most dangerous states. However, my home state of CA is # 15 for... the win! I'm sure Compton is to blame :) Anyhoo Mrs. P was worried about me driving alone, she best believe I'll be in contact with her & a few others via my new crackberry. I want ya'll to know where I am... just in case...

P.S. New WFE set pics of The Precious, awesome new pics from the Eclipse Premiere & info on the Teen Choice Awards...curious? Go here! Lotsa new stuff!

P.S.S I'll be fine, I just need to get back into thinking of all things Twilight when it comes to that area....& purge the scary thoughts from my twisted brain.



  1. Not to worry! There should be enough of us traveling that road the same day. I'll be sure to keep an eye out for you!

    Maybe I'm just brave 'cuz I'm not driving alone. Be sure to put a can of Charlie's pepper spray in your purse!

  2. Lol Jen, you guys should go in a convoy!

  3. Don't worry you'll be fine... its only a three hour trip. Use the bathroom at the airport and pray to God you dont need to stop :) I drove from Chicago to Springfield and did it all without stopping and thats about a three hour drive but Illinois didn't even make it in the top 15 lol. And like Rugbymom said put a can of Charlie's pepper spray in your purse.. I'm sure the toothless Sheriff wont see it coming.

    PS: I will never go to Texas thanks to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

  4. Lmao! Yea, why don't you meet up with some other ladies and just follow them? The drive isn't that bad and there are perfectly safe places to stop and use the bathroom lmao! We got gas at one place and they were selling penis shaped bongs...lmfao! Plus the drive is sooo gorgeous, you're gonna love it!

  5. @The Rugbymom- Where do you live? Your pepper spray idea is awesome! I might consider it...seriously.

    @LuvsMeSumEdward- You made me feel better :)xo

    @edwardsisobel- PMSL!

    @Kassie- I will also never drive 8 East thru AZ & New Mexico because of The Hills Have Eyes..creeeepy!

  6. Do you know how the Vanishing ends? I think it's one of those movies that affected me FOR LIFE.

    Anyway, if you get pulled over with adult diapers on they'll think you are that crazy astronaut lady who went after her boyfriend wearing she wouldn't have to stop.

    It's better to bring some empty coffee cups and just pee in them ;-) LMAO!

  7. @Mrs P- You're gonna make me pull up IMDB again right? LMAO! I do know that he tortures Kiefer Sutherland and his new wife. It got such bad reviews but scared me for life as well. It was just so damn creepy!

    And PMSL about the astronaut chick. Totally forgot about that!

    xo J

  8. LOL you're too funny. I remember you were scared of AZ too because of The Hills have Eyes.

    They're coming to get you Barbara!

  9. # Twired Jen
    I live on the east coast, but we arrive in Seattle at 10:50 am on Thursday (9/30). Wanna' convoy?

  10. YOU are crazy and now you have managed to scare the rest of us - ok maybe just me! YIKES!! This is why I don't watch those kinds of movies. I can create the terror all on my own, so imagine if I really had something to see - oh my. Glad I have 3 others in my car (and two of them I know almost my whole life but that other one ;) LOL)

  11. OME - I saw that picture you posted of the car pulled over and I went, "Yeah, what's the problem?" LOL - that's what highways look like here. You'll be fine. I would stop at a rest stop before I'd just pull over in some random spot to relieve myself. But it *is* just a three-hour drive. Or you could take the ferry to Port Angeles - I don't know how much that costs, though.

    FYI - the Green River Killer is serving life imprisonment, not on death row. However, according to wikipedia, his son lives in San Diego. Dun dun duuuuuuuuun!!! Also, his victims were mostly prostitutes and runaways, and he picked them up on 99, not 101. So unless you're lost and not telling us the truth about your "concierge" job, LOL, you should be okay. Especially since he's in prison.

    You can call me if you get scared, and I'll talk you through it. It's not scary - it's peaceful. Don't be a pussy. ;)

  12. If it's comforting in any way -- I actually spent a night backpacking in the PNW. Like, in a tent in the middle of a mountain. Granted, I wasn't alone -- yeah, you're screwed. Just watch out for the dudes in hockey masks. ;)

    What? That wasn't comforting?

    Or, go to the Foooorks forum!! There is a thread for rideshares. :)

    BWAWAWA!! WV - deduall. Ded u'all. I can't make this shit up.

  13. @JJ - I've spent several weeks camping in tents and without tents - under the stars and nothing else - around these parts (Mt Adams, Mt Hood, various parks) and I HATE camping.

    @Jen - I promise you will be fine. Even in the wilds of the Olympic Peninsula, AAA exists. If anything happens to your car, call your rental company. Call AAA. Call Chief Swan. ;)

  14. @DD- GO figure everyone else has fun with this post and you get scared! LMAO! I heart you.

    @MB-I love you too and may be calling you!

    @JJ- You just totally made me think of The Blair Witch Project. FREAKY! w/ that is scary.

    xo J

  15. I think you'll be just fine. Just make sure Twad puts an extra can of pepper spray in your bag for you.

    "The Vanishing" omg, so creepy. Early Sandra B. movie.

    I'd bend FSE in the passenger seat and buckle him in so it looks like you aren't traveling alone.

  16. OME - you need a blow-up Edward. Ladies - we have a mission!

    And now I'm freaked out, too - my w/v is "grave" I shit you not.

  17. @Musing Bella

    Blow-up Edward! Yes please! I'll take two!


Say it...OUT LOUD!