Monday, August 23, 2010

Letter to Forks.

Dear Towns People of Forks,

I felt overwhelmingly compelled to issue a friendly warning of sorts:

As you may or may not know, a rather boisterous group of Twitards will be descending upon your humble town come Sept 30th, 2010. Quite a few of us will be shacking up at the ever so lovely Forks Motel. Please know that we are all very excited to step foot on the Motherland, and that this pilgrimage is a passionate one filled with good intentions.

While we plan to be very respectful of Forks, understand that our enthusiasm may lead to debauchery... of sorts...No, I wont be peeing in the Hoh forrest after one too many Rainier beers...that would be like peeing on Jesus. But you may or may not spot me peeing in an alley. Do you have alleys in Forks?

"We're peein' on the Swan House ya'll!"

Oh, & should you hear a "little" girl talking about pooping in RPattz trailer, that would be JJ...she's cute, so give her a break. Plus, she helped birth the idea of this shiznit trip and deserves some respect. I can't promise her bloggy cohort LKW wont yammer on incessantly about sucking off RPattz , but give her a break too, she's "special." Oh, and if you hear a lady up at the crack of dawn waking up all of Twitardia & your hood', that would be STY, she's got a penchants for awaking the dead (aka JJ).

We can't promise you wont hear roars of laughter emanating from the Forks Motel at all hours of the night, nor can we promise that our boobs & vag's will stay covered should we see a pic of Edward. Oh, and has anyone warned you about our livers? Yup, us girls can drinky drink. So please be a dear & pass this on to the local liquor store. You might want to have them stock up on some boxed wine, Amaretto, Grey Goose, Stella & Rainier beer. Yup, we like our boozy.


Looking forward to Sept 30th!


Twired Jen

PS I trumped my last post about an hour after I'd posted...miss it? GO HERE.


  1. IDK about you girls...but I plan to tread Forks with a quiet, religious reverence. I'm gonna tiptoe quietly around town, stopping at all required temples to pray and worship.

    FUCKING NOT!!!!!!!!


  2. Awww Jen, you guys are going to rock the town. I will just have to live vicariously thru you guys. We need pics and posts from Forks, regularly.

  3. LOL! Those pics are hilarious. I can't wait to meet all of you guys in Fooooorrkkks.

  4. Just over a month to go now! YIKES!!!!

  5. I almost feel bad for the poor townsfolk of Forks. Almost. :)

  6. @JJ- Me too...almost. But we're an unorthodox sort of way...right? right? lol

    @MB- Go now....make your preparations! (Aro)

    @DD- Can you believe it?!

    @Munkee- Me too!

    @MC- Hell yes, it's going to be epic!

    @HG- Squeeeeee!

    @edwardsisobel- Wish you were coming! :(

    xo J


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