Thursday, April 21, 2011

OMG, Rob just said HOBO.

I survived Kimmel, barely.  Yesterday my Mom & I left San Diego just before 9am and arrived in LA around 11:15am.  We exited Hollywood Blvd. with the plan to drive by the Kimmel show and scope out the situation [and I'm not taking Mr. Abs.] As we cruised on by, I saw @TwiloveSue & her daughter, @ZAnyMouse & @Twifixx. I tried screaming out the window to no avail. I then called her to tell her we were headed to brunch and that we'd be back in a bit.

As we headed East on Hollywood Blvd, I spotted a black Mercedes with a WASHINGTON license plate!


Of course Mom & I went to the NEWSROOM on ROBERTson Blvd ;) It's the same place ES & I sat next to David Slade this last Summer. ES & I have sort of made it a tradition to go there the morning following 100 Monkeys concerts.  If you're ever in LA, check it out! They have a huge delicious menu, and everything is really reasonably priced...for LA.

I sooo wanted my Mom to try their amazing Mimosa's, but they'd run out of champagne...
Sauv Blanc it was :)

About 12:30pm we headed back to Hollywood (from W. Hollywood,) parked the car, changed IN the car (we wore sloppy clothes in the car on the way up) and skipped (literally) across the street to THE LINE, which was now about 30 (?) people long. Very long story short, we found out that the line we were in wasn't the "OFFICIAL" line, and that eventually they'd categorize us by Priority Ticket vs General Ticket. Sweeeet! we were priority, and at the point, realized we'd get in.  So it's less about where you are in line and more about what level of ticket you possess :)

NotSoTwired Mom & Me!!!
PS My hair looks long and green.I need a hair cut, and highlights...STAT.

About 4pm they lined us up by ticket level & wrist banded those of us who were getting in for sure.


And of course we had to wait in line another hour or so until they let us in at 5:30PM. Once we were in the lobby of Kimmel it really hit me. Holly shitballs, I'm going to see Rob, again. Once we'd gotten closer to the entrance of the studio, I realized just how small it was. Sure, I'd heard that talk show studios were smaller than they appear on TV, but I had NO idea it would be as small as it was. At that point I realized how amazing the experience was going to be.

As we walked to the entrance of the studio, the audience manager was deciding where to seat people. It was like the frickin' draft! As we approached him, we both smiled and tried to look excited, yet calm and completely sane  normal. He motioned to the two seats in front of us....Umm, 2nd ROW??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the left. So if you're watching the stage on TV, we were to the left. If you're on stage looking at the audience, we're to the right. GAH!!! I then tried getting @TwiloveSue's attention and she finally looked over and gave me a "holy shit" look.  They had great seats, they were only two rows behind us and in the middle...straight on viewing of The Precious.

Long story even longer, they coach you on how to laugh and when to laugh, when to clap and how loud...etc...etc... It's all very orchestrated.  You're basically at their disposal. AND, if you even attempt to touch your cellphone, which is off of course, they will throw you in the alley with the dude that paints with his own poop.

FINALLY after what felt like hours, it was time for ROB!  Truth be told,  I wasn't sure if I'd freak out.  I have seen him once at the New Moon premiere, where he was about 15 ft away...but it was dark, cameras were flashing, and I just saw the side of him. Then of course I saw the Twifeceta at the Eclipse Premiere, but they were on stage and a ways away.  This was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Kimmel announced his name and he came walking through the entryway...long, lanky, undeniably sexy...and I about shit my pants right then and there. JJ would have been so proud.

UPDATED w/ a screen shot!

Click pic for BIGGER.
Screen shot courtesy of my new friend @AwesomeArianna
We're behind the girl in the hat, next to the guy in the hat.

As he walked in, my hands started shaking, I lost my breath and my eyes welled up with tears.  It was coming very close to the way I reacted at the NM premiere.  I had to literally CHECK MYSELF, before I wrecked myself.  I was like, "GIRL, you're on buck the fuck up and behave!"  Even after my internal pep talk, I couldn't stop the shaking. It was ridiculous.  The entire time he was sitting there, just feet from me, I was fastidiously dissecting him piece by beautiful piece.

Here are my RANDOM thoughts during the entire segment:

1. Holy Shit He's Real.

2. Holy Shit he is real, and sitting here in front of me. Like, he's a real person...and he's just by chance been thrown into this tail spin of insanity.

3. He still seems shocked that people are enamoured with him.

4. He's tall, but more noticeable is his gumby, sort of.

5. His fingers porn  are SO LONG and VERY feminine.

6. Gah! Those fingers have been inside KStew's hoo-haa!

7. He keeps scratching his ankle. Hmm, maybe his socks are rubbing on his leg hair? Maybe he has dry skin?

8. Ooooh, that neck mole. Gah! It looks just like it does in all of the Twi-movies.  Ha ha ha that girl in line said it was her life goal to lick it. Hmm, I'd like to lick it.

9. I wonder if his penis is as long as his legs?

10. Why does he run his hand through his hair like that? He looks like a paraplegic...fingers curled in, wrist cocked...Can't he just straighten his hand and do it like a normal person???

11. OMFG he's right there. He's REAL. Like, a real guy, a guy who just happens to have become famous.

12. He's not like Edward...AT ALL.

13. Gawd I'd love him to play the bedroom, with me.

14. Wait! I don't want this to end...Hmm, wonder if he's going back to KStew's parents house tonight?

15. He's sooooo soft spoken, I can barely hear him!

16. OMG! ROB JUST SAID "HOBO"....out loud!

17. I bet some lucky biotches got to meet him on his way in from the back alley...but at least I'm getting to absorb him for all this time.

Any of you that have seen him up close know that I'm not crazy! Some of this shit must have ran through your heads.  The interview went longer than I had anticipated, which was awesome. But in the same respect, it wasn't long enough.  I'll skip the rest, it was pretty boring in comparison to Mr. Pattinson. I did however get to meet Allison from Twifans, which was pretty sweet.  We recognized each other as she & Kim walked into the studio... we even got to chat quickly after the show. They have a fabulous site and I often link back to them here on Twired.

All in all, it was an amazing experience and I was thrilled to be able to share it with my Mom. She may not be a huge Rob/Twilight fan, but she had fun with me and found the whole experience to be fascinating.  We always love being together...and that's what it's all about.

Here are some vids and pics from the show!

We are shown at 0.25! Second row back, far right, I'm next to the GUY in the hat. I say something to my Mom after clapping like a frantic woman!

And here's @TwiloveSue, @ZAnyMouse & @Twifixx! They are on for a few seconds at 1.25!

And...some pics!!! Of course we couldn't take any, but these are pretty damn good. Kimmel gave Rob an animated framed photo of the MC Hammer Cartoon that apparently Rob loves sooo much. He was genuinely thrilled by it.

I hope you enjoyed, I apologize for rambling on and on, it's just all so overwhelming.

Speaking of, I'm anxiously awaiting so many re-caps from the WFE Premier in NY! Can't wait to catch up!

PS Stay tuned for more pics of us bloggy ladies in line. I left my camera in my car, for fear of death ;)



  1. I'm so happy for you. He is totally breathtaking..I saw him from about 5 rows back in NYC..just amazing..he does sparkle..and...I SAW YOU!!! In the audience...for a brief second...great post ya Double_Dippin

  2. OMG! This is epic fun to read! LOVE the list! Think I just snot laughed at #6 and #14 is also something I wondered while watching from my couch. And #1 is something I would LOVE to experience firsthand! So glad you had an awesome time! And have I mentioned how fucking cool it is that you went with your mom!?

  3. Can I just say #10 is what I constantly think when he runs his fingers through his hair?

    So, first I have to say, I’m so super jealous you got to see him on Kimmel. I love JK and I think he kind of brings out the best in people. Love him and his interview with Rob. Second, I love that your mom went with you. That is adorable, and I picture that being me with my two girls one day. LOVE THAT. Third, how cool you got to meet other bloggers! For me, that is the best part of being in this twidom, meeting other fans in real life. It’s why I’ll always cherish Forks.

    Now that you have seen Rob, you go find FUCKING Alex Skarsgard at ComicCon and take pics, you got that!! That’s your next mission. Stay focus and start preparing for you plan of attack. That is all.

  4. Suzie- Hi! Too funny you feel the same about his wonky hand! And it was so fun meeting others in line...everyone just gets along so well!

    My boss and I just went to lunch today and I was re-capping the whole experience for her. She was super excited for me. I told her ASkar is next, and that I'm slightly scared of that one...I might risk the law where he's involved. ASkars is on a different level for me, not higher than Rob, just different. Anyhoo, my boss said she'd do her best to get my comic con tix. SWEET!

    love ya!

    xo J

  5. Total awesomeness!! Wow, that must have blown your mind, Jen. Your comments were way cute & reminded me of when I met PFach last month. I called home several times with "updates" to my husband & son, who really couldn't give a crap less but they knew I was on cloud 9!

  6. I think I'd pee myself if I saw him in person. You did exceptionally well, Jen. :D

    As for Rob, I think he scratches his ankle, interlaces his fingers and whatnot because he's extremely uncomfortable being in the spotlight (as if you didn't know this already, lol).
    IDK, I'm just really happy for you and Z that you got to see him in person.

  7. I'm still floating around, not believing that I actually breathed the air of The Precious! Jen's right, he is very lanky, and so animated and cartoon-like in a way (a good way). The camera does not show all the crazy things he does with his feet while being interviewed. From our seats, it was side view jawporn the entire time. Thud.

  8. d00d one word. Jealous. You lucky little bitch, you. :)

    I'm glad you had so much fun!!

  9. I am soooo happy that you got in!! I have it all on DVR and hope to watch everything tonite. I can't wait. Please hug your Mom for me and tell her thank you for going with you. You know how much I love traveling/hanging out with my Mom, so I am thrilled that you get to that too. Yea Mom!

    Excellent recap thanks!

  10. JEALOUS!!!!
    But so happy for you and your mom and the other ladies! Saw you all immediately and then Rob had such a great interview that beyond all those random thoughts you shared (#6 Really you thought that in his presence?)I knew you had to be just laughing and having fun.

  11. Loves it!

    1. You drink Sauv. I drink Sauv. Soul sisters!

    2. LOVED your comments. Numbers 6 and 9 especially.

    3. SQUEEE!~

    Talk to you tomorrow :-)

  12. GAH! Thanks for sharing your experience! I'm not sure how you kept yourself from passing out. I would have passed out. I wonder if he would've tried to revive me if I passed out? Like with mouth to mouth? He's just so fucking lovable! Glad you got to go Jen... looks like a blast!

  13. Great recap Jen! Your mom is beautiful.
    This made me almost shit my pants, "6. Gah! Those fingers have been inside KStew's hoo-haa!"
    You are too much!
    Glad you had had such a wonderful experience.

  14. What an amazing experience... how cool you got to do that with your Mom! My Mom would pass on anything to do with "That Robert Patterson guy". I love your internal ramblings, oh god no. 9!

    Thanks for sharing it with us.

  15. I get to read all of your posts when they come through in email alert and this one had me laughing my ass off. I laughed all over again when I reread it to leave a comment. Like most everyone else, #6 is just too damn funny.

    This ---> I had to literally CHECK MYSELF, before I wrecked myself.

    This is a brilliant recap from start to finish. I'm so glad that all of you got to go and that you were able to share the day with your mom.



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