Biel's *BEAUTIFUL NEW* Vid Trumps My Last Post...Duh.*

NEW NEW NEW!

Amazing....as ALWAYS. Thanks Biel!!!!

*Viewed it here first.


And in case you missed this oldie but goodie! Swoon, it's baaaack!





XOXO J

I Spy With My Little Eyes...

DEAN!!!!!!!!!!

mmm "Brooding Edward," sooooo delicious.

Yah yah, I know, they were pointing at THE WEDDING RING! But we knew he was going to be wearing one, didn't we? Hey, is Dean smiling? Wow, that might be a first. Come to think of it, if I had to protect Mr. Vampalicious, I'd look a bit stressed on a pretty consistent basis too.

Here's a another set pic from today. I spy Peter, Rob & Kellan!

FYI: Work is super busy, so sorry in advanced if I don't post much this week!

XOXO J

Thinking About Going To Forks? READ THIS 1st!

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORKS!

Hi lovely ladies! I can't tell you how many times I have typed or said, "FOOOOOOOORKS!!!" Even though I can't make it this second time around, due to my own damn wedding *sniff*...Yah, I know, my weeding is important. I was actually shooting for late Oct or early Nov, but the venue I chose was booked and I went with a Friday...Sept 30th to be exact. Clearly I lost my mind for a second when I agreed to that date. JK, I really wasn't thinking about that at that moment....However, once I realized I was going to miss Foooorks Round Two, I was relieved I wouldn't miss out on Breaking Dawn Premiere Camping. Thank Gawd.

Anyhoo, did you miss Foooooorks 2010? Are you hoping to venture out for Fooooorks 2011? Maybe you did go to Forks 10', but getting there was a cluster fuck? Well, READ THIS:

Who am I kidding, this isn't going to be all official or anything. I just wanted to offer up my services (she said that) to anyone who might want to pick my brain.

Here's my quick story:
I flew from San Diego to Seattle, rented a car and drove by myself to Fooooorks. Prior to the trip I did ALOT of research. Probably way more than is considered sane. But that's just me, I'm a planner. I don't need to have details of a vacation planned, but I sure as hell need to know how I'm getting there. Sooo, I opted for the NON-FERRY route. After much consideration, it seemed the better option for me. With ferries, you risk missing them, or getting caught up in traffic trying to catch them (rare, but a possibility,) plus they cost $. Not taking the ferry doesn't mean you won't hit traffic...but I arrived at 9:40am, so I knew I'd be ok.

Long story short, I asked around, even called the Forks Motel. They thought I would be lucky to make it in 5 hours...You see, I was trying to make it to my 3 pm Twi Tour...and was not due to arrive at SeaTac until aboutl 9:30am. This had me nervous! Google promised I'd make it in 3 hours and 24 minutes... and I wanted to believe it. A few locals thought I was nuts...ok MOST thought I was nuts. Guess what folks? I made it to Forks in 3 hours and 30 minutes. It's an easy, smooth & scenic drive. I loved every minute of it. Maybe the anticipation of meeting all my besties had my adrenaline on overload...but it was a blast. The trickiest part is driving from Port Angeles to Forks...it's about 35 minutes of a super long and windy road around a lake. Think car commercials ;) But by the time you hit Port Angeles, you'll be on such a high anyways.

Anyhoo, I did it, loved it, and totally would recommend it. With that said: If anyone has any questions or just wants to pick my brain, either ask in the comments, or email me if it's more involved. I'd be HAPPY to help guide you or just offer advice. Did I mentioned Lisa and I made a stop in Seattle on our last day...we HAD to see ESCALA! *MOTU!!!* So feel free to ask about that too! I'm here to help.

In the mean time, here's some pics I'm sure most of you have seen. I could relive it again and again!

Lake Crescent...between Port Angeles & Forks.

Rialot Beach...near 1st beach. WTF...it was sunny!

CullenaryCursor, Mrs P, JennyJerkface, SnarkierThanYou, Twilove_Sue1, me & 17foreverlisa

I almost PMSL reenacting the breakup scene in the HOH Forrest.

Look where Lisa & I went!

Dangrdafne, TwilightCupcake, 17foreverlisa, truebldtwilght, Musingbella, Mrs P, me & Twilove_Sue1

With that h00r, LatchkeyWife

Twi Tour on Day 1!!! Myg, Me, Mrs P, Twilove_Sue1

In the presence of greatness. STY, Myg, JJ, LKW & VitaminR70 ;)



*Memories I will cherish for a life time*


Prefer to email me? sotwired@gmail.com

XOXO J

Suck It Haters.

I love this vid because it brings to light certain things that the general public may not realize.

Keep in mind it's a bit intense, but kick ass nonetheless.

KStew ROCKS. That is all.



XOXO J

There's Something About Him.

I think it's his mouth.

ES & I have said it a thousand times...and we'll say it again...

We love Jackson's MOS!


(mouth of sex...for any newbies)

I think I'd pay to suck on his lower lip.
Wedding present Jackson? Just 5 minutes?

Your waist is the perfect size for my short legs...and your crotch is screaming for my face.

Can I just say that I have had his fingers up my..cough..I mean around my waist & on my arm?

Can we revisit that a bit?

No?!

Tough shit..I need to relive it now and again!

I of course look shitty in all of these pics...that's what a sweaty Viper Room show will do to ya.

To see more outtakes of Mr. MOS, go HERE.

P.S. My lovely friend MusingBella has started a new blog for the primary purpose of whining! Myself and a few other ladies (don't want to out anyone that doesn't want to be outed) will contribute when we need to bitch. Or, maybe just feel like venting. Nonetheless, it promises to be entertaining ;) Check it out!

XOXO J

Forbidden Fruit or Poisonous Apple?

Rumor has it some peeps are looking at Kristen Stewart as a possible shoe in for the role of Snow White. That shoe in comment would have been kind of funny if it were for the role of Cinderalla...just sayin'.

In all seriousness, I could totally see it.














Viggo Mortensen is apparently rumored to play the Hunstman who takes her into the woods to kill her (um...I don't remember that)....what about the Prince? IMDB has someone else rumored to play both Snow White & The Huntsman...but let's just pretend shall we?

Awww.

EVEN BETTER!
Awwwwwww.

Oh no,Snow White's poisonous apple!

Twilight's forbidden fruit.

Everything is better in Edward's hand.

I started pondering the the idea/meaning behind the apple in Snow White and in Twilight. Quite a few of us believe that Stephanie Meyer used the apple to represent forbidden love, but I have realized it could be viewed as a poisonous apple as well. We all know Bella wants to be close to Edward in ways she can't. She may not view Edward as poisonous, but Edward certainly believes he is......hmmm. Food for thought...

*Sigh*

XOXO J

Ellabay Answay ethay Altipoomay

Ellabay Answay ethay Altipoomay
(inay igpay atinlay otay akemay itway oremay alluringay anday oremay elusiveay)

... OKAY, I won't really make you read an entirely elusive post in pig latin...
though it would be SO much fun...

Bella Swan The Maltipoo

Today at work (I'm a veterinary technician, btw), I had a cute little maltipoo pup in for vaccines. Her name was Bella. What else is new? We have always had a gazillion Bellas... I even had a rabbit named Bella (circa 2001). The clinic had an incline in "Bellas" over the past 4 or so years, and until that fatefull Twilight Spring 2009 (for me, I know, I was a late twibloomer), I didn't understand the sudden rise.

So Bella the maltipoo... I was holding her, waiting on my coworker to finish up what she was doing so she could help me vaccinate the little girl. I was playing with Bella and out of boredom began to eye her collar and tag... her tag read ... wait for it, wait for it!

Bella Swan
!
!!
!!!

I immediately thumbed through the information section of her chart to see if they had called her that in her paperwork. No. "LAME!", I squealed. It's not as though we had missed it, they'd never told us (ahem, admitted). I was giddy and full of questions and comments, some more inappropriate than others... in the end I got a big kick out of telling the owner I had changed her dog's name to her full name in her chart and proceeded to ask her if she had an Edward. I was answered with a very blank stare.
Here's what I had in mind...

Her blank stare met my glazed expression (thinking about fang dog... SPARKLE dog...)... the silence was killing me, so I pressed on and decided to be a bit more blatant and speak to her as though I were speaking to a small child. I asked if she was going to find a somethingpoo with a sparklie peen... she looked at me all disgusted-like before I even had the chance to tell her about Twired... ah, well... I can't win 'em all!

Gotta love that when I googled 'sparklie peen' and synonyms,
I was referred back to the family of twitard h00r blogs...
including Twired. I found this on photobucket...

And uh... just for fun... Let's rewind to Edward and James... but as dogs, circa the end of the beginning of it all... Too bad we can't see a chunk of 'vampire neck' ahem, ahem CHICKEN, flying through the air!
Miss you h00rs... AND why you gotta go to fooooooooorks right when sista's getting hitched?


xox & 50 more,

ES*




*that's ES as in, 'Elusive S', in case you've forgotten about me ;)

Mini E's Re-Birth.

Have you ever heard a spiritual friend or family member describe an event or situation as a "re-birth" of sorts? Well.......while in Maui, Mini E started to feel extremely bonded with us all. But part of him felt guilty, since he'd been born, so to speak, at Lisa's house.

I assured him that I thought of him as family....but words weren't enough. He insisted on re-enacting this...........................

LOL!

There was a series of pictures that had us is absolute hysterics, but seeing as ES sucks at responding to my request for said pictures....you get the above. But believe me....it only got worse ;)


XOXO J

My Vagina Just Died.

Vagina death is a serious thing...so serious that it pushed my last post aside!

*Link at the bottom!

Ok my vag really didn't die, cause that would be a shame...BUT, these pics should come with some sort of a warning label.

ROB @ The Golden GLobes via Robsessed.

***THIS NEXT ONE IS MY FAVORITE*** Good gawd Rob....

I'm speechless, how about you?

Don't miss my LAST POST! Trust.

XOXO J

I'm Not Chill, Like Bella.

One of my Mom's friends works part time at this bridal boutique super close to our home. When she found out I was getting married she insisted I come down to "look," because the boutique was closing down...and thus had crazy sales. Being the penny pincher that I am, I jumped at the opportunity. My Grandma is buying my dress, but even still, I can't imagine spending a ton of money...it just seems stupid to me. Of course I want to feel beautiful & I want to LOVE the dress, but I'm only going to wear it once. Frugality rears it's ugly head.......

So today my Mom, Gma (abbreviation for Grandma) and I went to lunch & had some drinks...mimosas to be exact.

Heaven in a glass.

ES had to work and met up with us after lunch at the boutique. Funny enough, I called her frantically begging her to bring me some underwear. I don't wear underwear all the time and realized that it might be highly inappropriate while trying on dresses. ES surprised the heck out of me by stopping at Victoria's and buying me... and herself... some super cute undies...mine had cupcakes on them! Anyhoo, the second I walked into the store, I could tell it was a no-go. I didn't see anything that looked remotely simple. EVERYTHING had major lace, glitter and or beading. Those things are just not me. I like SIMPLE. Of course I didn't want to offend my Mom's friend, so I tried on about 6 dresses...each practically had me dry heaving. I could tell she felt my pain...she was just working their part time and was just trying to help. After realizing I WAS NOT going to find the dress of my dreams, ES quickly and ever so non-nonchalantly made an appointment at another store. Off we went...hopes high. GAG. We walked in to this store and it was like BLING CENTRAL. Plus, they had nothing under about 2K. Call me cheap, but again, I just can't see spending that much on a dress....even if my Grandma is footing the bill.

So we snuck out! LOL!

At least I come away from this whole experience knowing what I like and don't like. I HATE lace & don't particularly like beading & or glitter.....I do like strapless, fitted with a sweetheart neck...so we shall see.

I can't believe Bella wore that high neck Victorian-era dress for her wedding. She appeared to be so "chill" about it...like "oh well, I'm going to look totally out of date, but whatever....I'm marrying a Vampire and going to have hot Vampire sex for the rest of my life, so what does it matter?!" I guess I'd wear a trash bag, as long as I was marrying Edward ;) I'm dying to know what we'll see her in for the ACTUAL movie wedding.


In honor of wedding dresses, I present you with some hideous dresses:

Seriously girl, you REALLY made accommodations for your belly?!?
Christ, might as well have had Renesmee tear a the hole for ya!

Woah...I'm all about the "Sweetheart neck" but sweetheart, this is BRUTAL.

Sooo.........
I was going to make a joke about some sort of animal attached to your shoulders........

Is that a ribbed condom, or a dress?

I kind of want to like this...but it's like the meadow threw up on her.

What did your wedding dress look like? Did you know what you want when you went to look?
Advice is much appreciated.

That is all.

P.S. ES is a sneaky biotch for tweeting that pic. I wish she would have waited until I actually found one I loved...with I didn't. She did have a ton of great advice though..and she knows me!

P.S.S. Dangrdafne inspired me......if you feel ballsy enough, send me a pic with you in YOUR wedding dress! I wanna see!

XOXO J

Where's Waldo...I mean, Mrs P?!?

She's HERE!

Ok, I made that way too easy for you brainiacs. I should have made you sweat it out a bit and go on some sort of crazy witch hunt...not that Mrs. P is witch or anything...



*crickets*



Ok in all seriousness, it seems as though our favorite bloggy bestie has decided to devote a bit more time to her "other" blog, "Walk With Mrs. P" (I refuse to believe she'll ever shut down Twibite, but if she does...I respect her. Sometimes you just have to follow your heart.) She's had this OTHER blog for quite some time, and I must say it's the perfect combo of witty hilariousness....if that's even a word.... Besides, would we expect anything less from her? Nah! She also gave her OTHER site a celebrity-style make over and a new html! So make sure to click on the link above to check it out...and don't forget to follow!

Pssst....She also has a new twitter!

@WalkWithMrsP



On a personal note:


I will be honest and say that I had no idea what it would be like to meet her in person...in fact, I thought I might be a bit intimidated. She was one of the first couple of blogs I started to follow after discovering the Twilight Garden of Eden...aka Twitarded.

Fortunately I had the opportunity to meet & party it up with her in Forks. I hope you get to meet her one day too. Sure she's witty & just as hilarious in person, but she's also sweet and insightful...and always goes out of her way to make you feel good about yourself.


Cheers to you Mrs. P!



Foooooooorks 2010!

Love ya M! xoxo

*This post was inspired by Lisa's post....Love you Lisa!

Check it out!

Also, if you didn't see Mrs. P's thoughts on the above, head back to TWIBITE.

XOXO J

Mini E Goes To Maui!

When thinking about my impending trip to Maui, I couldn't imagine it without Mini E, aka Small Town Edward. It just wouldn't be the same. So I plopped him in my purse, when the s/o wasn't looking...

About halfway through the flight I opened my purse & gave my s/o a smirk.

"Well hello there."

Maui bound...and somehow...not sparkling!

Oh yeah, one cold body pressed up against another ;)

"Alo.......ha!"

He kept a watch out for sharks on the private beach. Such a gentleman.

Hello there Mr. GQ...

Woah....kisses from Elusive S...what gives? Must be the Island Fever ;)

Mini E about to venture out into the Maui mist....

The whole family, including Mini E had a fantastic and relaxing time in Maui. The island is beautiful. Thank you to all who wished me a lovely vacation! Here are a few personal pics ;)

Sunset the first night. Pic taken from the back deck of the condo.

Cocktail hour with NoSoTwiredMom.

Too many Mai Tai's for the s/o. I kid.
Mini E kicked his a**.

Sista's heading to Lahaina.

w/ the s/o

Beach behind Mama's House Restaurant.

Hope you enjoyed the pics! I have lots more to post about...including Breaking Dawn news & the ever so lovely Mrs. P....Miss her? Go here. More on that, later...

XOXO J