Sunday, June 5, 2011

I'm Not Over It.

One of my bloggy besties TC, inspired this post. She recently blogged  about stepping away from the Twilight world for a while & how Twilight has changed her...

It got me thinking...

I read Twilight in late July of 2009, so this Summer will be my two year Twi-versary. Time really flies!

Palm Springs late August 09', re-reading the saga for the first of MANY times!

I have always been one to live by the simple life philosophy that everything happens to us for a reason, whether we know what that reason is at the time or not.  I now know why Twilight came into my life....

Two years ago DG & I had been dating FOREVER, and he still hadn't proposed. We had talked about marriage most of our relationship, kids too.  But in 09' I was starting to get very discouraged. He kept assuring me it would happen, and to let it happen, but it wasn't HAPPENING! I think I was at a crossroads. I knew I loved him deeply and couldn't imagine not being with him, but I also couldn't imagine going on like we were...not moving forward. Sure we'd lived together for 4 years, and he reminded me constantly that he never would have bought a place with me had he not planned to marry me, but it just wasn't happening. 

Right about the time I started to get really down, Twilight entered my life. It's no surprise to any of you that I was in love...with the books, then the movies & ultimately all of the characters that brought the books to life.  I spent hours & hours each day on the internet checking for update to my favorite blogs/fansites, watching Twilight, looking for new photos/news, New Moon set pics, pap pics of the cast, especially ROB.  It consumed every fiber of my being.

Luckily, DG was supportive. I look back now and realize that more & more...he really let me immerse myself in it, and though it wasn't his thing, I think he was fascinated.  Of course the passion I had for Twilight lead to the birth of Twired. I wasn't sure how he'd react to that, but he he seemed pretty proud that I was channeling my massive addiction passion into writing. 

Now almost 2 years later I'm engaged & getting married on September 30th.  I don't know exactly how different things may have been had I not had Twilight as a distraction/obsession...It kept me focused on something, & made me happy.  For a while... I wasn't happy.  I can't say Twilight fixed it all, but again...had I not been so consumed with it, I might have spent even more time obsessing over the fact that DG and I weren't moving forward...I might have actually decided to move on, as heartbreaking as it would have been, because I didn't have anything distracting me from actually doing it. I'm not saying I wouuld have left him had Twlight not coming along...I just think I NEEDED Twilight at that time in my life... Does this make any sense?  ANYWAYS, starting a new job as well as getting engaged and planning a wedding, has pulled me away from Twilight a bit. Although I still check Twi fan sites, blog and of course go on twitter, I'm not doing it at every waking moment. I remember a time when I would fly out of bed, grab my coffee and google Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart. I had to start my day knowing what was going on with them as well and the Twi world....Now I will go an entire 24 hours without knowing what's going on...  I'm definitely not as addicted as I used to be.  Addictions need to be fed, and if they aren't...they're bound to taper off, even if just a bit. Silly as this might sound, any non-twi fan would probably think I'm still pretty ridiculously obsessed. I guess to just anyone it appears that way, however if you knew how much MORE I was doing about 9-10 mos ago, you'd see the difference.

Then stuff like this comes along...and it all goes back to how it was.

I kid! I'm really not over it, I just have a lot more balance in my life now.  I'm not neglecting housework, I actually shower & my cat finally gets fed regularly  ;)

Love you all, hope you know that.

PS A friendly reminder, the MTV MOVIE AWARDS ARE ON AT 9PM PST & EST...which means at 6pm my time, those Twitards will be watching it already...SHIT, no spoilers people!

MISS MY LAST POST ABOUT BEST KISS?!? Yah, you prob did considering I posted this right after. CLICK HERE TO SEE!



  1. I'm so happy for you J - even if your wedding date means that I won't get to meet you in Forks this year. (Did I mention Ffooorrrrkkkkkssssss! ?)

    I think I started reading the saga about the same time as you - maybe a couple of months later. I was going through a particularly rough time in my life (my father had died the summer before and I had just got through the final stressful round of escaping redundancy at work). Twilight: the books, the movies, the characters and - of course - the actors who embody them, helped me escape the reality of life for a while. And you know what? They still do!

    Everything does happen to us for a reason - of that I'm certain. And I for one can say, with hand on heart, that the best thing that Twilight has brought me is a whole host of new friends across the globe. People with whom I can share my obsession without fear of being judged or snickered at. And that, my dear, is worth it's weight in gold.

    So happy for you that DG finally took the plunge and popped the question. I hope for you both that you have a lifetime of happiness together.

    CC x

  2. You are very right, Twired Jen! I began reading the saga right after my bro and his family of 4 moved into my home. He was undergoing cancer treatments in L.A. and they needed more help. I needed a way to breathe because things were hectic and not going at all like we thought. The books and Rob were and still are my 'escape'. They helped me through 2 funerals and my grief. When I'm stressed, I pull one out and read a chapter at random and I calm down. There are still people who say I'm a freak for liking it, but ya know what...I too have met some fantastic women and actually came out of my shell. I think that's positive!
    Best wishes to You and your Fiance! I wish you love and happiness!

  3. This is such a heartfelt post. I can't regret DG's decision to hold off on the proposal, it's what brought you to us! ;)

  4. kiTT already said what I was thinking - I'm so glad your Twilight journey led you to us! I really enjoyed your touching post and I know the friendships we've made thanks to these books/movies will last beyond the last premiere (sniff, sniff). Love you!! XOXO

  5. All I think about is all those people who think Twilight ruined marriages and relationships but I know I have heard more about it saving and helping. I am glad it has all worked out for you and DG and that you will get your Bella wedding :) I wish you a lifetime of happiness.


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