Ask Twired Jen, installment #1

Woah, you gals really stepped up to the Vampire baseball plate! I have already received quite a few questions so far, and seeing as I love all of them, I will post them (& my answers) throughout the next week or so. If you haven't participated yet, ask me a Twi-related question!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENTS!

First up to bat, Mama Cougar:

Q.What, my dear, is your wildest RPattz fantasy?

A. Believe it or not, I don’t really fantasize about Robert Pattinson very much.. Maybe it’s because I perceive him as utterly intangible.

"You don't fantasize about me?"

I fantasize more about meeting him, or getting to take a picture with him. When I first started this blog, I wrote a post called “5 Wishes for 2010.”

Here is an excerpt:

“I wish for a night with Robert Pattinson. That isn't really too much to ask. I don't mean forever, just for a night...you know...he has Stephanie Ritz pick me up and take me to meet him at the Chateau Marmont for drinks, we then head out to some laid back pub in LA...paparazzi in tow of course. "Who the hell is that blonde midget with RPattz?" We have several more drinks of course. We sit close, listen to a live band play, bond over a plethora of "things", gaze seductively into each each others eyes...Then eventually we make our way back to the hotel, paparazzi in tow, and go up to his room. We sit out on the balcony while he smokes and recites lines from Twilight...then we soak in a bubble bath...dot dot dot...”

So I guess I have fantasized about RPattz, just not as much as some lady's (cough....whores) I'm sure...

Next up, Poptart:

Q.What’s your most embarrassing Twilight related story? I'm thinking a TMI story and beyond.

A. Oh man (errr lady)...I don’t know that I have anything that is TMI yet. YET being the operative word of course. I would definitely have to say 2 things have felt pretty embarrassing. One was definitely my reaction to Robert Pattinson at the New Moon premiere in LA. When he stepped out of the limo he was surrounded by so many body guards I could barely see him. Once he turned to come to our side...I flipped out. He was about 15 ft away and I just screamed like a 13 year old at a New Kids on the Block concert. I never knew I could scream like that. Basically, I lost all sense of control. I’m surprised I didn’t just poop my pants right then and there. My whole body basically started shaking...and when the tears welled up in my eyes, E.S. knew I’d officially lost it. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it...the barricade started to bow, and his “peeps” whisked him back to the red carpet before he could get close to me.

I wish I could say I took this.
If you look to the right of the pic...add about 20ft, that's where
Elusive S & I were smashed up against the barricades.

Wouldn't you look dazed & confused too?!
P.S Not so sure bout' the Persian hookers.
They didn't know who the hell anyone was. I wanted to kick em'.

Second would have to be when ES & I met Jackson Rathbone for the 1st time after his 100 Monkeys show at the Viper Room. After much prompting, I grew some balls and asked his “Bananager” if we could take a pic with him...I didn’t want to interrupt as he was talking to someone....Fortunately, Jackson couldn't have been more charming. Unfortunately, I practically lost common sense & just kept saying thank you. I guess that’s better than acting like a psycho stalker...right? (elusive s)

You know I had to sneak this in here again at some point...

Last but not least, JeDeCe:

3 Questions from this gal...sweet!

Q. We're going to play a rousing game of Fuck, Marry, Kill. Ready? How would you rate these characters in FMK order: Jasper, Edward, Carlisle.

A. Can we use Mrs. P’s term “leave alone” vs “kill?” Ok. Thanks. So this one is easy...As far as the characters go, I’d FUCK Carlisle, (Dr. Cullen, my va-jay-jay hurts...will u kiss it and make it better?) Marry Edward (no brainer) & leave Jasper alone. Again, I’m basing this on their characters, not RL.

Q. Now lets go with some actors themselves: Taylor, Rob, Kellan.

A. Easy, I’d Fuck Kellan, Marry Rob (cause he could fuck me everyday) & leave Taylor ALONE.

Q. Now that I'm 2 and a half glasses of wine in...screw it. I want you to rate the fuckability of the entire cast of NM from most delish to ewww-not even with Jessica's vajayjay.

A. Funny you should ask...Not too long ago, Elusive S & I sat in a jacuzzi in LA, prior to a 100 Monkeys concert, and discussed this in minute detail. OK, fuckability. 1 will be MOST Fuckable...then slowly descend by fuckability. (Can I keep saying fuckability?)

1. Robert Pattinson (hands down, most delish)
2.Jackson Rathbone (i can only imagine what that MOS is capable of)
3.Peter Facinelli (he’s got some amazing arms, and an adorable face)
4. Cam Gigante (soooo hot in RL...so icky as James)
5. Billy Burke (mmm...want me some DILF)
6. Alex Meraz (the boy I lost my virginity to was Mexican, so I have a gag-reflex when it comes to those Mexies...but he is soooooo hawt )
7. Kellan Lutz (as long as he doesn’t have the orange hair)
8. Taylor Lautner (he can look super hot, and super stupid...but he does have a rockin’ bod)
9. Kiowa Gordon (better lookin’ in person...trust me)
10. Bronson Pelletier (cute, minus the muffin top)
11.Chaske Spencer (eh...doable after a few drinks...or more...)

OK..I’m gagging while pondering the rest...and just so you know, I wouldn’t F*ck any of these peeps with Jessica’s va-jay-jay.

"Oh my gawd, did u really just bring my va-jay-jay into this?"

Michael Welch = Umpa Loompa
The dude that plays Quil Arterra...”I’m Quill Arterra...” NASTY.
Justin Chon= Cute in a lil’ gay dude that you wanna put in your pocket. (sorry dude)

Thank you all that sent in your questions, I still have more to post! Stay tuned!

P.S. If you'd like to ask me a Twi-related question,see instructions up top.

P.S.S Get creative! Or dirrty! Both are a plus!

***Check out Mama Cougar & Poptart...Follow @jedecec on twitter!

Oh...and in case you need another reason to fall in love with Mr. Pattinson all over again, here he is in Budapest filming Bel Ami...speaking Hungarian to the fans. *Swoon*





XOXO J