Sunday, March 21, 2010

What shall I take to FOORRRKKKKKSSSS?

So my room at the Forks Motel is reserved, & I am pretty damn sure I'm going...I just need to buy my plane ticket. Seeing as I am not in the best financial situation at the moment (thanks to outsourcing at work...fml)...I must wait and play a little game of "cheapest f*cking flight I can find." Elusive S & I were talking about this last night...she is pretty sure she can come, but we'd have to eliminate the trip to Vegas (cause she's saving for another trip to AU next year) we'd hoped to squeeze in this summer...Hmmm...Vegas? Forks? Vegas? Forks? To me, it's an absolute no-brainer...FOOOORRRRKKKKSSS! How could I pass up the chance to meet all of you amazing ladies (cough)... whores. Plus, I found Vegas to be quite depressing...strippers, addicted gamblers, pwt etc...not my thing. Besides, we've spent so much time together in this Twitarded world, it would be a shame not to meet everyone, and I REALLY want to check out the Dazzled by Twilight shop!!! I'm sure it will put me in some sort of twi-coma, but it's worth the risk.

This got me thinking about what I'd need to bring to good ol' FOORRRKKS...yup, it's 6 mos away, but I'm a planner...and an "over-packer." Here's my list thus far:

1. Make-up.

I don't wear tons of make up, but shit, what if the local news gets wind of our unofficial Twitard convention?!? Or what if The Precious hears about it and decides to make a surprise appearance?!
(in our dreams)

2. Pepto Bismol.

Yes girls, I have a tendency to have a poopy stomach. It happens every time I travel...I think it's anxiety...even if I'm just plain excited, I get a bit poopy. Then after my Pepto binge, I'm not poopy....4-5 days. Ahhh, the repercussions.

3. Booooooooze!

This is practically a no-brainer. I mean, what if FORRRRRKKKKS one & only liquor store runs out our first night in town? A girls gotta be prepared.

4. A booze-belt!

Genius, right?
(is she wearing Mom-Jeans?)

5. Adult diapers.

So I may not be a mentally unstable clown, but I figure some "adult diapers" are in order. Who the hell wants to keep running to the ladies (whores) room?

6. Sweats.

They may "look" like sweat pants JJ, but they're actuallly Old Navy Yoga Pants. Granted I don't do yoga, but they're comfy & at least LKW wont feel so out of place in her sweats. ;)

7. A dress.

Fine JJ, I'll bring a dress...but I might wear my "yoga-pants" underneath.

8. Bellas scent.

...and smelling like Bella is all I can think of.
(If I remember correctly, STY said this smells like ass-crack...damn)

9. Jolly Rancher chews!!!

...and a big-ass box of these. They're my latest addiction. Odd, for a girl that isn't really into candy...

10. Hangover cure.
Not sure if this crap works, but it's worth a try...
Wouldn't want to ruin FOOORRKKS with a nasty hangover.

11. A bathtub.

If you have followed me on twitter at all, you know I LOVE taking baths. Since hotel & motel bathtubs are a cesspool of germs...I'd like to bring my own thank you very much.

P.S. if my tub looked anything like that, I'd never get out.

I'm sure I'm missing a FORRRKKKKS-load of other things, but for now I think this is a good start...don't you?

I almost forgot...last but certainly not least...I' d like to bring him along:

12. The Precious.


Sorry ladies, even if I could...I wouldn't. He'd be all mine. All mine.



  1. Ooh - we're headed to Costco tomorrow (my Spring Break sounds more exciting every time I mention my plans, doesn't it?), and I'm going to look for that Hangover Cure. I have only just recovered from my Friday binge this weekend, and that is plain unacceptable. So far my plan has just involved drinking more before Forks so my tolerance will be built up. We'll see how that evolves. ;-)

    You two HAVE to come to Foooorrkkss!!! If you don't, I'm coming down to San Diego, because it's like you are my twin and I must meet you. I will do the sadface if you don't come. :-(

  2. @Musing Bella: You are too sweet. And I too want to meet you...I think we'd hit it off in person as well!

    Elusive S is an infrequent poster to our blog because of school & work, but she's super fun and outgoing. (Hopefully she'll be posting next week as she's on spring break.)


  3. Yo, for all you sweats haters - I finally bought myself a pair of yoga pants. And like everything else I own they're too fucking long. Hope they shrink.

    Fuck, I'm going to be late for work....

  4. If #12 is secured, I don't think you'd make it to Forks, which makes #s 1 - 10 moot points.

    Now a bath with Rob would be very necessary.

  5. @LKW- Mine were too long as well. I just cut them...the material actually doesn't fray, even after washing them. I can't justify spending money on having them hemmed. Now they're the perfect length...hello 5'2"?!

  6. You added a tub since I was here last! I approve. Baths are delightful.

  7. @MB, I know! I got in bed last night and while on Twitter, realized I'd forgotten my bathtub!
    PS commented on your latest post btw.

  8. Again, I'm so jealous of your communal Forks trip. Wouldn't it be something if one of you single girls in the group met someone in Forks? Seriously, that would be a story.

    On a random note, I too want a footed bathtub. Or perhaps that snazzy one I saw recently at a showroom which had mood lighting IN the water!

  9. @Sparkle, mood lighting? Sweet! My old place had a super deep tub, I loved it. Now in our condo it's just a standard one built into the wall...I make it work though. ;)

    That would be funny if someone was single and met someone in FOORRRKKKKSSS! Elusive S (my Sis) is SINGLE.

    Thanks for the comment and following me on twitter btw.


  10. you wouldn't even share with US?! c'mon...

    : )

    oh and we are pretty much guaranteed some private Twitards-only shopping time at Dazzled By Twilight - can't WAIT!!

    will you at least share some of the hangoever cure pills???

    p.s. please please PLEASE don't wear that gawd-awful perfume - it was one of the first things i ever wrote about on the blog (really!) because i HATED it sooooo much! it's gross. truly. i'm begging. i generally hate perfume anyway but that shit is an insult to how awesome everyone in twilight is supposed to smell. really. did i say really enough? REALLY.

    if you are interested -

  11. I was going to post a comment yesterday but got distracted halfway down your post again with the GIF of Rob taking his shirt off in Rome - it happens to me everytime I read your blog. Start reading blog...giggle giggle Twired girls are so funny....ah Rob...taking shirt off...stare at screen...for a long time...oh where was I?

    Would love to go to Forks but it is a little far for me here on the east coast of Australia...will voraciously read all drunken tweets completely green with envy when you all get there.

  12. STY: duh! Totally JOKING. Didn't you seem the wording I put under Bella's perfume ;) It says something to the effect of "STY said this smelled like ass crack"
    I remember that post and that is why I felt compelled to put it in there. LMAO. I bet it does smell like ass crack...nasty.

  13. @edwardsisobel - that happens to me, too. Little disrobing sidebar Edward is mesmerizing.

  14. Uh, in regards to #4 my first thought... wayy before the booze bit was, "MOM JEANS?! You're going to bring HER to Forrrrrrrks? WTF! Dirty pirate hooker..." and then I saw the booze belt and ALMOST thought, 'brilliant' but then thought, 'That looks like Mom Jeans... and I bet Mom Jeans had that under her shirt at the V Room and kept slugging from her stash while screaming irrevocably at JACKSON."

    Love you.

  15. and JENTINI: FURTHERMORE... love how you have to say "she's really cool and outgoing" ... even if she doesn't post a lot. Bahhahaha Jen, you are too much. You sell me so well. Wanna be my pimp?

    PS !@ edwardsisobel ... I'll be in Oz in March (lived there for two years!) for my best friend's wedding! We can have a mini twiblog party ;)

  16. Sar: You HAVE to meet Edwardsisobel, she's a crack up!
    coco, I'll be your pimp anytime!

  17. @Elusive S: cool, twiblog party coming up!!! I live on the Gold Coast tho??

    Awww @Twired Jen: you are so sweet. My kids think I'm a pervy geeky mum. I like being a crack up!

  18. @edwardsisobel-melbs for me Buttttttttttt momma is coming with and that means a necessary GBR trip... and Gold Coast along the way...woot woot!

    PS JEN... pimp me out to jacksssssssson... holyfucking hell he looksfucking holyhellalicious in Dread and my Jacksonitis has swung around 20 fold... holyfuckinghell.

    HW??? What hw??

  19. "STY said this smelled like ass crack" PMSL
    Yeah, I'll bet that's what attracted Edward...NOT. Dogs like that smell, though, so maybe it's what attracted Jacob to her.

    BTW, clawfoot tubs are pretty. But that's it. I lived with one for 6 years and it SUCKED. I used to love taking baths but it ruined me. Very uncomfortable. I felt like a whale in transport to Sea World.

    I only live a couple hours from Forks. Wonder how I get on the exclusive invite list...? Maybe I can pimp myself out as a Twitard airport shuttle? *sigh* I could probably hear you all partying and see the bonfire from my house. And I would be sad.

  20. @Musing Bella: I did it again. Just came on to reply and got stuck with goofy grin staring at the gif...

    @Elusive S: Off to the bottleshop to buy the booze for our little twiblog Aussie style...

  21. @Toomuchcoffee...anyone can come. It's open invitation. Lots o' random Twitards are going. You should come, esp since you live so close!!!


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