Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Twired Sista's Rules...

...for attending a 100 Monkeys Concert.

WARNING: If you're easily offended, move on. This is not the post for you.

Moving Forward...Should you ever get the AWESOME opportunity to see these guys live, we have come up with a few simple rules (guidelines if you will) that might assist, and/or prevent you from looking like an utter douche-bag.

1. We don't care if you're a Mom. We also don't care if you wear jeans. But PLEASE, we beg you, don't come to a show sportin' your Mom-Jeans. No one wants to see your gunt.

"Mom-Jeans" demonstrated by the lovely ladies of SNL"

2. Whether you're 21 or 39...especially if you're 39...it's probably not a good idea to get all tore-up & belligerent, then proceed to cry and bitch to the bouncer about how much you need to be allowed back into The Viper Room after the show. Jackson may be doing a Monkey Shot at the bar, but he certainly doesn't want you, your crying, or your Mom-Jeans.

"It's okay Jasper, Mom-Jeans wont hurt you...
on second thought..."

3. If you happen to be said "Mom-Jeans" person, you might not want to show your face again at another 100 Monkeys show, let alone the same venue, and worse...sportin' your Mom-Jeans...The Twired Sista's might see you & get the overwhelming urge to joke with the cool bouncer about how ridiculously belligerent you got at the last show. And even worse, the bouncer might remember.

You might have to squint, but I think it says "No Mom-Jeans Allowed."
tee hee hee

3. Don't ever ask for pictures while the guys are onstage. Asking the 100 Monkeys for a picture in between their set, because YOU have to leave the show early for a flight, is just plain tacky. If the guys say no (which they should) but invite you on stage for "Wings on Fire"...you BETTER KNOW THE WORDS, or at the very least, have some rhythm. ...Otherwise the Monkeys, and everyone else get to see you make an ass of yourself.

Oh, and a video of you looking like an ass, might just find it's sneaky way to someones blog. Luckily, the Twired Sista's are too nice to do anything like that. Nah, who are we kidding?
(skip to 1.35)

4. Prior to a 100 Monkeys Concert, you might consider showering. We really don't want a whiff of your stanky V, let alone your greasy hair ruining our 100 Monkeys-high.

2 awesome inventions...use em'!

5. We don't expect you to wear your prom dress to a 100 Monkeys concert, but do you really have to wear your ripped & faded skinny black jeans, converse, and a hoodie? No one wants to see a crowded room filled with KStew wannabes!

"What's up w/these biotches copying my look?"

6. Last, but certainly not least, HAVE FUN! Twired Sista's always do.

We hope our rules/guidelines were helpful, or at the very least, entertaining. And yes, "Mom-Jeans" does exist.

*None of our rules and or guidelines are endorsed by the 100 Monkeys.


  1. LMFAO! Guess I'll have to put my Mom-Jeans away now. And so nice of you to include a bathtub visual toasting our cleanliness. Where's the video for that? I kid. I kid. Sort of ;)


    P.S.: I have to wait until I get home tonight to watch the video, but I'm sure it's funny as hell judging from your comments.

  2. Knowing the Monkeys ( and I do wink wink)I know that they love all their fans and they would never make fun of anyone who is a fan and comes out to see and supports them and they certainly don't care what kind of jeans they are wearing. So I say your rules are bogus.
    Come to a concert and have fun. Those are the Monkey rules.

  3. LOL! They came to Sactown last week but I only found out about it the night before. Due to work committments I just couldn't swing it. Oh and the teenage angst because my 16 year old stepdaughter was too young to get in...ugh! It was not pretty.

    I hope they come back after she turns 18 (or, forget her, at least give me some more notice next time)...and thankfully, I don't own MOM jeans. Ummm...shoes, that is another story...but no worries...I still keep a pair of chucks on supply!

  4. @Kiki Of course the 100 Monkeys appreciate their fans...that is why everyone just adores them.

    Sorry if you felt the post was bogus...however, blog-posts are usually not meant to be taken seriously.

  5. What? we love a belligerent, crying, middle-aged drunk in mom jeans as much as the next person. Especially one who screams at the V Room bouncer and makes a huge scene...

    ... just sayin'.

  6. Gasp... Mom Jeans isn't bogus! She is real!

  7. No, she said the "Rules" were bogus...whatev'...hope she sees the other one. I need a beer now.

  8. Twired Sarah said...

    How can personal rules for us and guidelines for others be bogus? Estoy confusado... por que tu diju estos son nuestra reglas... No SUS reglas... Los ciento changos no tienen reglas... NUESTRA tenemos las reglas...Silly.

  9. @Twired Sarah - This is what my online Spanish translator gout out of that:

    I am confusado... because your diju these are our rules... Not THEIR rules... The hundred changos do not have rules... OURS we have the rules... Funny!



  10. Ha! And now I see that I typed gout instead of got. Loverly!

  11. LMFAO @ LISA see, this is what happens when you live in San Diego your entire life...However, I never picked it up nearly as well as Sarah.

  12. My son has spent the last four years playing college baseball with a lot of Latin players. He took four years of Spanish in school, but he said it doesn't prepare you for the speed and slang of RL Spanish. He has made some life-long friends, which is awesome. He even spent 25 days last year over his winter break with a teammate and his family in Puerto Rico. He absolutely loved it there - the people, the culture, the land. He took some awesome pictures. It has been such a great life experience for him.

  13. That's really cool! It's a real shame now, with Baja California being so dangerous...more dangerous that Mexico City.

    Tijuana used to be a great day trip for tourists & locals alike. I even grew up camping down there when the surf was good (my Dad has been surfing for 45 + years)...

    Nowadays, you couldn't pay me enough to cross the border into Mexico, and it's 25 min South of here. It's sad really.

    PS Do you have to work tomorrow? You're up so late!!!

  14. That is sad. On the flip side, that's cool your dad's a surfer.

    And, yes, I have to work today (!), I really should get to bed. I was just so behind on reading blogs. The time just flies.



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