Dirty 30 Wish

So in exactly 42 odd days, I turn 30. And actually, I'm ever so slightly excited. For some reason 30 seems younger than 28 or 29. Probably the whole beginning of a decade thing....or not...Anyways, while trying to come up with a list of people I'd like to invite to the shin-dig Twired Sista' (aka illusive-S) is throwing me...I got a little depressed. I don't have tons of friends...just a few close ones & my amazing family of course...but then I thought of Rob. Would it be too much to ask if he'd make an appearance at my birthday party? I mean... I know he's busy and all...romping around the Isle of (Esme) White with KStew...But celebs cheat all the time right? So... how about me? Huh Rob? We don't even have to have sex....just some spooning...so I could smell you...memorize your sent.

Back to reality. Who am I kidding? I think some other ladies have already beat me to the punch. If I'm being honest with myself, Jenny Jerkface & Snarkier Than You, as well as the lovely Latchkey Wife have already put in their requests (or pathetic pleas) Damn those whores to hell.


"Tits aren't everything darling...."
"What? Did you say something? It wasn't
Twilight related so I tuned you out."

We might have to do a little contest...put our mugs up on a cork board and have him choose. I can just hear it... "Who's the blonde midget? Hmmm...well...crikey, she's actually quite attractive...if you ignore the fact that she's vertically challenged...I quite like her!"


"Mind if I rest my Heineken on your head?"

A girl (old fart) can dream...can't she?

-J