Monday, January 4, 2010

Dirty 30 Wish

So in exactly 42 odd days, I turn 30. And actually, I'm ever so slightly excited. For some reason 30 seems younger than 28 or 29. Probably the whole beginning of a decade thing....or not...Anyways, while trying to come up with a list of people I'd like to invite to the shin-dig Twired Sista' (aka illusive-S) is throwing me...I got a little depressed. I don't have tons of friends...just a few close ones & my amazing family of course...but then I thought of Rob. Would it be too much to ask if he'd make an appearance at my birthday party? I mean... I know he's busy and all...romping around the Isle of (Esme) White with KStew...But celebs cheat all the time right? So... how about me? Huh Rob? We don't even have to have sex....just some I could smell you...memorize your sent.

Back to reality. Who am I kidding? I think some other ladies have already beat me to the punch. If I'm being honest with myself, Jenny Jerkface & Snarkier Than You, as well as the lovely Latchkey Wife have already put in their requests (or pathetic pleas) Damn those whores to hell.

"Tits aren't everything darling...."
"What? Did you say something? It wasn't
Twilight related so I tuned you out."

We might have to do a little contest...put our mugs up on a cork board and have him choose. I can just hear it... "Who's the blonde midget? Hmmm...well...crikey, she's actually quite attractive...if you ignore the fact that she's vertically challenged...I quite like her!"

"Mind if I rest my Heineken on your head?"

A girl (old fart) can dream...can't she?



  1. Yay, I got a shout out!! OK, so who are you calling the "blonde midget"? Because that's me? I'm blonde (not without help sadly) and vertically challenged! Wow! If Rob likes 'em short and blonde, I may have a good chance... now if he only likes the, ahem, older, I mean mature ladies... I'm in like flynn!!


    PS: He can rest anything he wants on my head... or in my mouth...

  2. LMAO...I'm 5'2"...born blonde...but now have a little help of course. Haven't attempted 3 column yet. I have to be free of is golfing, laundry is going, but I need to go to the gym. So it shall wait...I'm thinking it's going to take some serious concentration on my part.
    PS Of course you got a shout out..u and Twitarded are my inspiration for this guys and RPattz.

  3. LOL! I'm 5'2", born blonde but now need help too!! Holy shit! Were we separated at birth? Oh wait, you're a HELL of a lot younger than me...

    PS - My word verification is IMPLART: Sounds like an awful farting accident!!

  4. I think those word verifications read your mind...(hmm...kind of like Edward).

  5. Careful who you're calling an old fart. I may resemble that remark ;) Appropriately enough, when you turn 30, I will be exactly . . . drum roll please . . . 17 years older than you. Being able to get my favorite number in the equation just makes me feel better. Otherwise, it just plain sucks and not in a good, vampiry sort of way ;)

    Happy early birthday!


  6. Thx...ha ha...totally kidding about Old Fart thing, however I think each milestone makes us sit back and think...WOW, time flies...and I'm sure I'll feel the same way at 40 and 50 and 60 and so on. =)


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