Friday, April 2, 2010

Ask Twired Jen, intallment #3

Hello again! You asked, I answered. For the time being, this looks to be the last installment of "Ask Twired Jen." However if you haven't participated, or think of a really kick ass Twi-related question, post it in the comments!

Drum roll please......first up,
itsjustme1217 from Robmusement!

Q. Put yourself in Bella's shoes, what would you have done differently during the critical times through the novels?

"Would this be considered a critical time?"

A. To be perfectly honest with you...twitch, twitch...blink, blink... I hope this doesn’t sound like a cop-out, but I can’t even begin to fathom being in Bella’s shoes. I was never a fan of fiction to begin with, let alone Vampire novels, so it’s very hard to imagine myself in her shoes. I definitely fell in love with, and respected her throughout the entire saga. She comes across as such a unique & unselfish individual for her age. I loved experiencing things through her eyes. Besides, knowing me, I'd just mess things up. I was nowhere near as mature as Bella at that age.

Next up, the ever so SASSY, Mrs. P from Twibite!

Q. Would you rather have sex with RPattz for 5 minutes (and then he leaves) or with Jackson all night long (and then he takes you for breakfast in the morning)?

A. I admit, this took me some time. Give it to Mrs. P to stump me.....I’m going to have to say Rob, for 5 minutes. I’m DYING to know what he’s got going on down it’s just enough time to make him fall unconditionally and irrevocably in love withe me ;) In all honesty, I’m scared to have sex all night long with Jackson. Something is telling me he’s packin’, and my lil’vajayjay just can’t take it. It starts to hurt after a while; clearly, I could never be a porn star. Damn, that dream is crushed ;)

" can't handle this?"

The lovely twilightcupcake from Twilight, Travel & Treats asked a question too!

Q. If you had to choose between dating and fucking Jackson for one week or being Robs assistant - nothing sexual- for a year which would you do?

A. I think I’ll probably get raked over the coals for this one...but if I was single and not settled (meaning I could up and move to LA)...I’d sooooo want to be Robs assistant. Here’s why...IF, I dated and fucked Jackson for a week, that clearly means it didn’t work I’d want to save face and not attend any more 100 Monkeys shows...which SUCKS, because they ROCK
. Being Robs assistant would allow me to be in almost constant proximity to him (hello Stephanie Ritz)...and I might even become friends with him and the Stew, while making bu-ku bucks. To be honest...that would be enough.

Sure, I’m obsessed with him...but not a “must meet him and fuck him” sorta’ way...does that make any sense? Not that I wouldn’t f*ck him, given the’s just that this tiny part of me fears it would ruin the fascination I have with him...& I like the current “mystery.” Almost like ignorance is bliss.
But, then again...maybe if I fed him enough beer...he’d forget about KStew...and decide to f*ck me, his "assistant." (sorry for the indecisiveness, it's my middle name!)

"Another beer Rob?"

"Steal Rob, I'll f*ck you up."

Up next, another faithful follower ATXgal76!

Q. Are you completely out and proud about you Rob/Twi love in RL to all your RL friends and family?

A. I am out & proud like this dude...

"I love Twilight, ya'll !!!"
Ok, not quite...But yes, it’s not anything I hide. Am I flamboyant about it? Not really...unless I’m around those very close to me. If you haven't yet seen the post I did that included birthday party pics, check it out here. I don’t purposely try and hide my obsession around random people...if it comes up, it comes up...I have an “Edward/New Moon” key chain, which spawns conversations. I also have this bumper sticker in the back of my car:
It's not super obvious, unless you're a Twihard.

Q2. If you are out and proud, do you openly try and recruit others or only on the sly?

A2. I don’t go up to random strangers, but in conversations with new people, I may or may not slip in something Twi-related to see if they pun intended. (totally intended)

Honolulugirl from True Blood Twilight
asked a great question, that was still Twi-related!
(though I warn you, my answer might bore you to tears)

Q. What else do you like to do besides blog, etc.. I mean do you have other outlets for your creativity? Paint, write... ? I'm a nosy fuck, aren't I? :)

A. There’s stuff to do besides blog & search for Twi-stuff? jk, blogging right now is definitely my creative outlet.
My poor journal has been neglected.

I'm a huge being curled up on the couch with my cat & a good book or tv show (is it shitty I didn't say my bf?) However, I really enjoy spending time with my family. I'm super close with my Mom, Dad & Sister. Just hanging out with them, sharing some drinks/food is always a good time. I love the beach, taking pictures, rollerblading, swimming, concerts, mini-road trips, cleaning (yup, twat waffles, that's right) painting my toe nails & shopping (when I have extra $$$, which hasn't been lately!)

Last, but certainly not least, SmartEpantz77 asks me a crazy question...cause she's a crazy biotch...with a NEW BLOG! Check it out

This may hurt just a little...

Q. Standing in front of you are Rob, Jackson, Kellan and Kristen.
KFMA BIATCH Let's hear it....

A. Ok, seeing as I had to ask what A was...well I just assumed K was Kill, and I don’t like Kill, so let’s say KISS ;) Marry, Fuck, Kiss, Anal (great....)

Marry: Rob (like I mentioned in a previous answer, I could f*ck him every day if we were hitched )

Fuck: Jackson (hell yah Fuck him, then marry Rob...sweet)

Kiss: Kellan (he’s got great lips )

Anal: Kristen, because I don’t do it (it, being ANAL), & Kstew can’t do it ;) AND NO, she doesn’t have access to a dildo SmartEpantz, get your damn mind out of the gutter.

Thank you to all the ladies that participated in this edition of "Ask Twired Jen!"

As a prize, I present to you, the EVOLUTION OF THE CULLENS!

Pretty cool...



  1. *cracking up* Oh your answer to Mrs. P's question. That is sooo funny.

    Um, what the hell? Was I supposed to ask a twirelated question? I'm retarded. :)

  2. You were, and you did. I told everyone to make it Twi-related, but that I'm sure you whores could make ANYTHING Twi-related. You asked what I like to do BESIDES blog/twi whatev' it still counts! xoxo

  3. LMAO - ohhhh, snap, smartEpantz! She showed you!

    The pic of Richard Simmons nearly made me spit wine all over my laptop (hmmm... maybe that would improve it's crappy functionality...) - that's too funny.

    I love all your answers, of course. And I loved the evolution of the Cullens pic! Nice!

  4. Jen you sneaky sneaky little whore. LOL!
    I knew you were gonna break the rules!!!!
    I;m afraid my mind has set up permanent residency in the gutter. You're just gonna have to deal with me. :o)

    OMFG. I bow down at your pimpage!!!
    I'm humbled. Seriously. You rock (jackson's) cock!

  5. Fabulous segment! LMAO at the Richard Simmons picture.

    The one year as Rob's assistant is a brilliant plan. A lot can happen over a year. Just enough time for him to break up with Kristen, get over her, lean on your shoulder and then begin sexual relationship.

    Love the bumper sticker!

    I just noticed how well dressed Emmett was at the birthday party in that Evolution picture. Must check that out on DVD!

  6. Ha ha I love the question about being out and proud. When I 1st read Twilight and was so excited about how much I loved it I was afraid that I was too old to love it that much. I was not sure about telling people how much I loved it. I wanted to Tshirt and things. But when it started getting really popular I was like, "Hey I loved this first." Now I am a card carrying t-shirt wearing, babie doll owning, midnight-showing HUGE fan.

  7. Thanks for the comments all, it's so fun to answer those questions...esp after a glass of vino!
    XOXO & Happy Easter!

  8. Yo! Poor Jackson. I should have said he would let you stop for breaks. Dammit. Live and learn.
    I think I might have gone with the all nighter. I'm rather perplexed myself. Great answer!!!! You know you would have to tell us all about the 5 minutes, you realize.

  9. @Mrs. P...dude...even with breaks it still hurts my precious vagine'....

    Of course I'd fill ya in on the 5 min. Hopefully it would go something like this:

    "Mrs. P...OH MY GAWWWWD! You know all those pics of Rob, where we wondered where IT was hiding? Well my friend, IT is PERFECT. Definitely not small, not too big, shaped perfect, smelled delish & shit girl, I could have sworn it sparkled!"


  10. Great questions and great answers. It was good getting to know you more Jen :)

  11. LMAO! I've really enjoyed this "series," Jen. Awesome questions and answers. *standing ovation*

    And damn I hope five minutes with Rob goes a lot like that ;)



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