Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Edward Penis Hands?

Elusive S & I walked up to a local brewery/pizza place this evening with our friend M. We had a few beers, shared some quattro formagio pizza & shot the shit. I must mention that M is one of those girls who's read the Twilight Saga, enjoyed it... & THAT'S IT. You know, those girls....? Anyhoo, "M" is one of ES's best friends, and has sort of become like our adopted big Sister. She participated in our New Moon slumber party/movie viewing last yr, not because she was DYING to see it, but because she was down to see it and we knew she'd add a little sarcastic flare to our evening. She's the one who made a shirt that said something to the effect of "Team Jacob, because REAL men don't run away..." & on the back she mockingly added "Edward is a narcissistic Nancy-boy." This is all basically to egg me on, but I love it & throw it right back at her.

On our way home tonight I started blabbing about the Twi-Convention (surprising huh?) and how excited I am that they announced a bunch of new guests, in addition to Rob, Kristen & Taylor....Peter Facinelli, Ashley Greene, Elizabeth Reaser, Nikki Reed, Alex Meraz, Bryce Dallas Howard, Xavier Samuel etc (can I get a SQUEEEEE!?) All of a sudden M & ES are doubled over laughing...Clearly I'd missed something, and I'm not the least bit surprised. Whenever I start talking about Twilight, I enter my own little vortex. A few second later M blurts out "Twatlight!" We all start laughing of course, and she asks me why they haven't made a porn that mocks Twilight, as if I'm supposed to know... That of course, gets all of our wheels turning.

They made "Edward Penis Hands," "Armegetiton" & "Bareback Mountain"...why not "Twatlight?" Clearly M wasn't the only one to think of it....sigh...

Are those supposed to be condoms? They look like drugs.
Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

Everything looks better in Twilight font...even TWAT.

But what about a porn saga?


New Poon (tang)


Fucking Dawn

5. Midnight Cum

Seriously people, I'm really surprised the Porn world hasn't marketed this stuff. Wouldn't Twitarded have told us if they did. Hope I'm not missing anything they have posted in the past.


Just some porn for thought. I know you dirty hoors can come up with some better titles. Seriously...JJ, LKW, STY???....bring it, in the comments!



  1. don't forget; New Taint (or Taint Moon), Taintclipse and Breaking Taint

  2. @Mox- LMAO! Good ones...you likey the tainty!

  3. Lolol!
    I think there is a XXX new moon and a XXX twilight...lisa accidentally tivo'd it.

  4. Actually they have. This Is Not Twilight has the tagline "when you can fuck forever, you can fuck everyone". About a year later This Is Not New Moon came out. Again a parody on New Moon. I gotta get these for the Mr & then write some reviews. The things I do for research.

  5. Um... Hilarious! OME! This was the best post ever. And they do have a porn movie relted to twilight, but I bet you and your pals could really rock it. I am going to go have another laugh at New Poon. LMAO!

  6. hilarious. i'm down for some twiporn.

    all of my friends are "those girls", wish i had some true twitards in my area. sigh.

  7. I remember 17foreverlisa and her twilight porn being taped on her DVR or something like that. I don't think she watched it - at least that is what she told us ;)

    Hilarious post.

  8. Here it is: http://17foreverlisa.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-moon-xxx.html
    Your titles are better, though. :) New Poon! BAhahahaha!

  9. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! That's some silly shit, right there. Those condoms are crazy. They looked like pez candy to me.


Say it...OUT LOUD!