Thursday, June 10, 2010

My Last Will & Testament

Ok let's cut to the chase, shall we? I figured since I just might die (happy) after seeing the PRECIOUS in person on Sat , I should create a Last Will & Testament for all my twi-loot. I mean, I practically pooped my pants the last time I was 15 ft from him, and that's a slippery death.

"You almost pooped your pants??? "

I trust that Elusive S would take good care of my twi-loot, but what if seeing Jackson causes her untimely death as well? Jacksonitis isn't known to cause death, but it's better to be prepared...I always say. So here it is...



________________Twired Jen_________________

(Full Legal Name)


(Identification / Social Security Number)

______________16 Pattinson Way_________________

_________________San Diego, CA 16161___________________


1. Declaration

I hereby declare that this is my last will and testament and that I hereby revoke, cancel and annul all wills and codicils previously made by me either jointly or severally. I declare that I am of legal age to make this will and of sound mind (sure....) and that this last will and testament expresses my wishes without undue influence or duress.

2. Appointment of Executors

2.1. I hereby nominate, constitute and appoint ________ELUSIVE S________ as Executor or if this Executor is unable or unwilling to serve then I appoint _____f*ck if I know____ as alternate Executor.

Forget it, I have never been one for legalities...

If I parish from seeing RPattz & Elusive S does the same from seeing JRath, then I must divvy out my twi-loot & leave some gifts for my bloggy besties around the world, and maybe a couple family memebers.

Rob "stuff," ALL of my Rob stuff will be buried with me & I'd like to be wearing my Team Edward shirt...just sayin'

Robsten "stuff," including my Robsten coffee mug & any Robsten pics & favorite ff's go directly to Lisa...aka my Robsten loving bloggy bestie. I also leave you a lifetime supply of boxed wine & an invitation to Rob & Kristen's future wedding. It could happen...just sayin'

Kellan "stuff," any pictures/posters I might have floating around go to Jelena. Cause she's a lutzaholic. I also leave you a plane ticket to FORRRRRKKKSSS.

Jackson "stuff," any Jackson stuff I have that's not buried w/ Elusive S will go to Mrs. P, cause she has a steady case of Jacksonitis. Oh, and you can have my un-opened New Moon puzzle (you seem like the puzzle type) and a lifetime supply of diet coke & amaretto.

Kristen "stuff," including many pics & a Bella button...they can be divided between Lisa & twilightcupcake. TC, I also leave you a VIP shopping pass that lets you in stores before and after normal business hours...cause I know how much you love to shop :)

FSE aka cardboard New Moon Edward goes to LKW...wait, never mind. I doubt it could withstand the dry-humping.

My Twilight & New Moon DVD's go to Twad, cause he really likes them.

Alex Meraz & Taycob pics go to NotSoTwiredMom ...I forgive you for being on the "other" team.

The Books, both sets go to JJ & STY, because I know they often loan theirs out & hate not having copies at their disposal.

I'm sure I'm missing some things, if so, just throw them in the casket with me. Thanks.

Note to self: Bring spare case of poop-age, or severe drench-age.

"I kind a like it when you say poopage."

That is all.



  1. Well, I'm bummed that you might die, but I feel left out, too! :( So please don't die. Instead, take lots of pics and then come back and tell us ALL about it! I'm excited for you!!!

  2. It would really suck if you died - but I know you'd go with a smile. Have fun tomorrow. Be safe, don't let those uncontrollable fans trample you or your sister.

  3. I can't wait to see all of the pics you are able to take of Rob... I say able because I'm not sure if you brain will tell your hands to work while you're basking in the glow of Robert Pattinson!

    Have LOTS of FUN!!!

  4. Thank you for the Jackson stuff and the lifetime supply of dc and amaretto. You will be!

  5. Oh..and the puzzle. I do love puzzles. Lolol!

  6. @MB- In all honesty I was thinking about what to give you the entire time, and I couldn't for the life of me come up with anything. It's the thought that counts, right?

  7. Hello, you have a liquor cabinet, don't you??? LMAO. I'm just giving you a hard time. I know we're friends. ;) Oh, but I also like puzzles. And Robsten. So...

    Oh no! My w/v is "perill" Srsly!! :o

  8. awww come on! You can't leave FSE to me? You know I'd take very good care of him!


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