Sunday, May 2, 2010

Don't tell Edward, but...

....up hill

(Outdoor enthusiasts: insert GASP here.)

Yup, that's right folks. In fact, I have had some pretty shitty experiences thus far. 1st time I ever truly "hiked" was at Multnomah Falls in Oregon. My best friend (at the time) & I were visiting some friends of hers in Portland (too bad it was long before Twi even existed) back in 2001. At the time I was a little heavier, call it the freshman 15lbs. I literally had no idea what I was getting myself into. In fact, I was as blind as a bat. About a quarter of the way into it, I had a panic attack. I simply couldn't breath. It was horrible. It's too bad really, because the area was gorgeous.

Not so gorgeous when you think you're dying.

On a side note, I must mention that on an athletic scale of 1-10, I'm about a 5. As a child/teen I was a competitive swimmer...and as you may already know, I really enjoy rollerblading.

Attempt #2 was while visiting a friend in LA back in 03'. There is a place called Runyon Canyon that's notorious for celeb spotting. It's basically a central place for them to hike...and of course when my friends suggested it one evening, I was willing to give it a chance. STUPID IDEA. Once again, I got so winded I thought I'd pass out. It was a disaster. I started to think it had something to do with allergies...or at least I tried convincing myself...

Fast fwd to today...I wanted to do something aside from my normal routine of rollerblading or the I decided to "attempt" hiking again. There is this place called Cowles mountain, located about 10-15 min from my house. I have NEVER made it to the top. So, I gave myself a little challenge. About 5 minutes in and I was so winded, but I kept on pushing. While I was hiking, I thought of Edward & Bella. Remember their 5 mi or so hike to the meadow? Edward, no meadow. LAME.

(Cowles Mountain San Diego, CA)

Awww, that's more like it!

(found this online, no idea where it is)

Maybe if Edward had shown
up and offered to lead shirtless, I may have finished.....
hiking that is. (you dirty hoors!)

If this was waiting for me, I'd risk life & limb.

To answer your question, I stopped at the 1 mi mark and turned around. It's soooo f*cking steep, I thought I'd die. A 70 yr old granny was going faster than me coming back down ...seriously. Granted I made it further than I had before...but I realized it's not something I enjoy...and I'm ok with that.

What have I learned from this? Unless Edward is waiting for me at the top...




  1. PMSL - fuck hiking for sure. You were up here at Multnomah Falls??? Awesome!!! If you ever come back - I will show you my favorite places to hike: NW 23rd Avenue, The Streets of Tanasbourne, and Bridgeport Village (note: these are all shopping trips). Don't feel badly about hating on hiking - I'm going camping next weekend and I hate camping. The outdoors are not for everyone.

  2. Edward would be carrying me the whole damn way, that's all I know. When I was a kid my family went to Yosemite a lot. It was always fun, but when I got to be a teenage, not so much. They forced me to climb Vernal falls, which is only a mile, but UPHILLLL. I could barely breathe about halfway up and refused to go on so I stopped. As my mom waited with me to get a grip, a girl ON CRUTCHES climbed past me. I felt like such an asshole. So the lesson when hiking is to either don't do it or STFU and bare the pain.

  3. I'm with you - you can hang out at the bar with me when those hiker-y type Twitards are out hiking in the Hoh [insert "hos it the Hoh" joke of your choice here].

    : )

  4. I am such an indoor girl I agree. In fact when people found out I went to the break up log by myself they didn't believe it. I was totally out of my element crawling over logs in a burberry coat and fendi bag LOL. Only for twilight...

  5. @ MB, @AmyJoon, @STY & @TC: Sounds like you girls totally get it. I just added a bit to the top of the post..about hating "UP HILL" hiking. Forgot to clarify. I don't mind hiking outdoors if their is no incline...throw an incline at me...and I might as well collapse right there.

    I much prefer walking on the beach. ;)

    xo J

  6. Hiking is for people who can't start their car...

  7. Does hiking include running uphill to catch buses and up flights of steps to make trains. I just about died several times this last week on the local public transport system due to my car giving up the ghost. Will not be willingly walking/hiking up no hills! Probs wouldn't anyway. I'm with sty, I will quite happily wait in the nearest watering hole with a glass or two.

  8. I like to hike if it's flat. LOL!! But I guess they call that walking, right? Mr. Latchkey and I used to hike all the time. And it usually included me cursing at him the whole time. (I know, cursing? Right? I've never been known to curse!) Several years ago we hiked Mt. Katahdin in northern Maine. It's the highest peak in the state and is exactly 5,268' high (but people stack rocks on top to make it exactly a mile) and is an approx. 8 hour round-trip hike. I've never been in so much pain in my life... EVAH! I couldn't walk for like a week afterwards and I was even in pretty good shape at the time. After that, I definitely said FUCK HIKING!

  9. Let me tell you the only way I'm hiking up anything... mountain, desert, path what ev' is if 1) Rob is there with me
    2) Rob is waiting at the top/end
    3) Rob is there with me or waiting at the end and I get to keep him after..

    other then those options Hiking is a no go for me...

    Well unless that is what it is actually called
    F*CK HIKING - where you F*CK while hiking... with Rob of course :D

    OK yeah that's my last option... beyond that...I'm kinda happy with things status quo


  10. I'm with you on hiking. Hiking here in Hawaii in the humidity licks fucking ass. It's sooo hot, that your lungs really hurt.

  11. @Kelly: LMAO! Thanks for the comment!
    @HG: I bet, but it's sooo pretty!
    xo J

  12. Good for you for even trying!

    I already told my Forks roomies (Mrs. P, Cullenary Cursor, and Twilove1) that I'm not doing the hiking thing. Save room for me at the bar, STY!


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