Thursday, May 6, 2010

You'll never believe...

who knocked at my door last night!

So I was just minding my own business watching the news, sending off the occasional tweet...and drinking my favorite wine....

$4.49 at Vons....and sooo good.

...when all of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. Seeing as NST boyfriend was at work, I felt a bit nervous. Eh, it's probably one of the neighbors, I thought to myself. We're a tight group of random people...always knocking on each others doors for sugar, ice, beer....

I jumped up and opened the door, then proceeded to fall over backwards. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming....Standing before me, in all his Adonis-like glory...was this...err him...err...

The glow emanating from his skin was mesmerizing.

I stumbled & fumbled before he cracked a smile. He almost had to hold me up, which of course I didn't mind. Once I regained some sense of sanity, I asked if he'd like to cum I mean come in...I know, I know...dumb question. He gracefully floated through my front door. I wasn't quite sure what to say. I almost offered him a drink...silly me. He asked if I needed a human moment. I nodded my head and we proceeded to the kitchen so that I could get a glass of water.

I still could not believe my eyes. It was as if a mythical creature stood in my own kitchen....

I hope he didn't notice NST boyfriends beer...

After the shock wore off, we settled in nicely. He told me how he'd left Bella, and that he realized he needed to widen his circle of friends. Guess the Cullen's were grating on his nerves. I slugged back a few more glasses of wine, and excused myself for another human moment.

When I returned from the bathroom Edward was nowhere to be seen. I felt a stabbing in my gut, as if it had all been a dream...As I sulked back into my room to get ready for bed...I saw this...and mind you, almost passed out...again..

Edward, in MY bedroom.

I gulped...and asked him if he was sure. He said he was sick of Bella's twitchy, blinky & confused ways. I told him I was nervous, and that NST boyfriend would be home soon...He smiled widely, baring his teeth like a mountain lion...and had his way with me.

This is what I looked like could say he was a little rough...

*Pic has been removed cause I think I was really grossing people out. Sowwwy.*

....but I liked it.

P.S. I'd like to gives NST bf a little credit during the making of this post..lmao..he gave me a few ideas. He actually wanted me to put cardboard Edward in our bed under the covers...Truthfully, I was afraid he'd break ;)

He was very supportive ;) See, he's washing the chicken for our dinner! Good boy.
P.S. Edward was less than thrilled with the smell...



  1. First of all *ahem* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
    That pic of your allergic reaction was seriously fucked up! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that shit! It's pretty awesome you had the guts to admit that was you...and I'll be right back with a wheelbarrow for youto cart your balls around in.

    OK. Moving on...

    I'm so fucking jealous! I want an FSE. Badly. I want him in my kithchen. Bathroom. Bedroom. Hallway. You get the idea...


    Enjoy your new houseguest!

  2. I clearly did not proofread the above comment. Meh.

  3. Definite mood killer!!! LOL! Glad to see FSE is alive and well and that NST bf is a standup guy, too ;)

  4. Lmao I wish my fse would pull that kind of stuff. Way to go NST bf. Poor thing with the allergic rash. Looks bad and a bit unusual for an antibiotic rxn on the last day but depends on which one and how long. Hope it never happens again.

  5. That was a totally cute post until I got to the picture of the black plague infesting your thigh!

    You have a very patient boyfriend. MR. Moxie won't let me have FSE :(

  6. Mox, that would be my torso..lmao! ;)
    Awww...well I don't think my s/o would have liked me buying one...but Elusive S bought him for me specifically to be a "prop" at my Dirty 30 B-day party. ;)

    He couldn't let me throw him away now could he?

  7. Your torso is the size of my leg. Skinny bitch!

  8. @Mox...LMAO, that was 2.5 years ago...I was skinnier then. Plus I was stretching upwards to take the pic...there...feel better?

  9. Wha..? I'm so bummed not to have seen you with the allergic rash. Oh man.

    Other than that, glad you had a good time (I mean who wouldn't, right?) :D

  10. Great post. Very creative & funny. I'm sooo glad I missed the picture. Why does the whole going to the bedroon with Edward while NST bf is away remind me of my first marriage? Honest folks, I've been faithful to the last couple husbands.

  11. Jelena...if you wanna see it I can pretty nasty.

  12. LOL. Love it! Wow, so nice of Edward to stop by and have his way with you. Super nice of BF to be so helpful!

    Edward and I's visits are confined to my office. DH is opposed to LSE being beside the bed. Boo!


  13. "wine" was my word verification on my comment...thought that was appropriate for your blog! :)

  14. @Tess: Awesome..maybe it's a hint? lmao!

  15. Just saw this post... One thing to say, and one thing only: BAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!

    LOVE it.


Say it...OUT LOUD!